tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29494605595958855242024-02-07T00:34:12.290-08:00My Daughters,These are letters to my daughters. Things I want to teach them to prepare them to be godly women - supportive wives, devoted mothers, inspired homemakers, and women who change their world for God's glory.
If you are here for the first time, please start at the end, by reading my first blog post and then read through to my current one, as they are meant to be read in that order.Ruth Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00297156024421986096noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949460559595885524.post-6730994352576830802013-10-03T09:07:00.001-07:002013-10-04T08:48:29.582-07:00Advice to the Bride, My Wedding Gift to YouDear Daughters,<br />
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I'm so excited that you are reading this letter, as it means that you are on the brink of marriage. The days leading up to your wedding day are full of excitement, worries and lists of things to do. You glow when you think of your betrothed. His smile shines when your name is mentioned in his presence. Your wedding dress is hanging in your bedroom and you can not wait to put it on and wear it for him to see. In your quiet times you wonder what it will be like to be his wife, to wake up with him by your side, to fix him breakfast and spend an entire day with him. And each day flies by and brings the day you walk down the isle one day closer. <br />
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I hope and pray that your preparations for your wedding day are small in comparison to your preparations for being a life time friend and help-meet to your husband, because the wedding is just one day, but marriage is for a life time. Marriage is the biggest influence in your life as to your happiness and joy besides your love and commitment to serving God and bring glory to Him in your life. Marriage can enhance your relationship with God and be used of Him to glorify Himself through your relationship with your husband. But it doesn't always. But I won't dwell on that now, our world is full of examples of marriages that have failed miserably, so I do not need to spend anytime dwelling on that. I want to share with you the things that I have learned that have made my role as a wife a blessing to myself, my husband, my family and brought honor to God. I know there are so many books to read about being a help-meet, a loving wife, a devoted fan of your husband and so on, so I'm not going to deal with generalities. I'm going to share with you specifically things that I have learned and implemented as a wife for nearly 30 years now. If you haven't read it yet, I have lots of general "preparation for being a help-meet" in my earlier post, <a href="http://mydaughterslisten.blogspot.com/2011/07/honoring-your-father-loving-your.html">Honoring Your Father, Loving Your Husband</a>, so you might want to start there. I might overlap here, but I'm going to be doing this a little different, in light of your impending wedding!<br />
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But, before I do that, I think I need to share with you why I think I should even do this. What qualifies me to even begin to share anything for your benefit (besides the fact that I am your mom, if that is the case!). When I married Daryl, I knew a few things. I knew how to cook a handful of meals, I also had some rudimentary homemaking skills, and I had some idea of what makes a man enjoy a woman. But I was not well prepared. I had a lot to learn! Through the years I've made my share, and then some, of mistakes. But I've also done many things right (some of those came from learning from my mistakes!). But now, 28 1/2 years later, I am happily married to my best friend. I still want to share things with him before anyone else, and I'd rather go on a date with him than have a girls' night out! Daryl and I enjoy doing many things together, and we even chat online while he is at work (I try not to keep him from working though!). We talk on the phone during his breaks, and if one of us is not at home it feels like something is missing and everything is out of order. In a day and age where over half of all marriages end in divorce, and many other marriages are not exactly paradise, I believe that my relationship with my husband qualifies me to give advice to anyone who asks (and even those who don't ask!).<br />
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So, where do I begin? Well, most importantly, the best thing you can do for your marriage to become/remain strong in your relationship with your Heavenly Father. Having a regular time of reading the scriptures and talking with Him is vital...is Vital....is ESSENTIAL to a happy marriage! Your husband can not possibly meet all your needs, or even some of your needs - that is God's job...but more on that later! You will need to cling to your Savior as you ride the roller coaster of early marriage. Run to Him when things do not go as planned. Beseech Him for wisdom for each and every day. Pray for grace to carry you through the difficult days. And Praise Him for the good days! If you haven't yet, please read my letter, <a href="http://mydaughterslisten.blogspot.com/2011/07/striving-to-become-woman-after-gods-own.html">Becoming a Woman After God's Own Heart</a> for more on growing in your relationship with your Heavenly Father! If you do nothing else for your marriage, guarding your daily time with the Lord should be it.<br />
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One of the first lessons I learned as a young wife was that using birth control pills was ruining our marriage. I had mood swings and PMS so bad that I was beginning to think I was losing my mind. So that is my first advice - don't even go there. The risks associated with hormonal birth control (and there are pills, implants and other ways to get hormonal birth control) are very scary, and most also allow fertilization of the eggs, but do not allow implantation causing miscarriages instead of preventing life. I recommend not using any form of birth control except that only one that really works - God! It's 100% accurate - you will only become pregnant when it is in His design and plan for you and your husband!<br />
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The next thing you can do for your husband is to begin to pray for him daily. A few years back I read the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/?_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&field-keywords=Stormy%20Omartian%20the%20power%20of%20a%20praying%20wife&linkCode=ur2&tag=elevenb-20&url=search-alias%3Daps" target="_blank">The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Omartian</a>, as well as her other books on similar themes (praying parent, praying woman). I purchased some journals and started writing out my prayers. As a busy mother, this was indeed very handy, as I could be interrupted by my children and yet get right back to where I was and what I was praying for! I have one journal for my general prayers (prayers for myself and my friends or any urgent prayer requests), and one for Daryl, and one for each of my children. I rotate through the children's prayer journals (there just isn't enough time in the day), but Daryl's prayer journal comes out every time I have my quiet time.<br />
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One of the biggest mistakes I made in our marriage is that I came to marriage with the mindset of what I was taught in all those princess movies and romantic movies - that my husband would be my knight in shining armor and we would live happily ever after, because he loved me and would meet all my needs. WRONG! I learned the hard way that our world is out to deceive young women to believe that lie! What better way to set up a marriage for failure than to come to it with unrealistic (might I say sinful and selfish) expectations! As I mentioned earlier, that is God's job. But beyond that, be sure to keep a close relationship with your parents, siblings, friends and church body. Your relationship with your husband is second only to your relationship with God, but you still need the support, prayers and encouragement from your greater circles of relationships.<br />
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Daryl and I agreed early on that we would never publicly ridicule or insult each other, and that we would not share each others faults and foibles. This is a wonderful thing to do. We even try to never bash the other general sex - so often a group of women will bash men/husbands in general, even when those men/husbands are present and hearing the comments. Uphold your man, support him even when he is not present. Never say anything derogatory about him to anyone. If/when you are struggling with something in your relationship with him or something he does drives you mad, first pray for you to accept him as he is and that God would change you/grant you grace. You might also read my other letter, <a href="http://mydaughterslisten.blogspot.com/2011/07/dealing-with-daily-frustrations-and.html">Dealing with Daily Frustrations and Trials</a> for more on that. Then, if you still need to, talk with him about it in a loving way. If that doesn't make any headway, privately and lovingly talk it over with your mother or mother-in-law (she did raise him and many times sons are very much like their fathers!). But remember, that God made your husband exactly the way he is, and only God can change your husband. It's your job to see what God is doing in your life through each and every circumstance. It is not your job to change your husband, that is God's job alone!<br />
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Something that I took a long time to learn was that marriage was not a 50/50 proposition. It's 100/100. Many women expect their husbands to "do their part" around the house. This is a recipe for a disaster. For a great marriage, both husband and wife need to put 100% of themselves into the marriage, not expecting anything in return. And even when one of the marriage partners is a totally failure, if the other partner is 100% committed, that marriage can still be a good marriage. God talks about marriages like that in the Bible, and says that even an unsaved spouse can be won to Christ by the godly life of the other spouse (I Corinthians 7:12-14)! If you expect anything from your spouse, you can and will be disappointed. If you never expect anything, then anything they do will be a blessing to you! For more about this, you can read my other letter, <a href="http://mydaughterslisten.blogspot.com/2011/07/great-expectations.html">Great Expectations</a>!<br />
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A big part of being 100% committed to making your marriage work, lies in the bed. Literally. As a wife, your job is to meet the needs of your husband when it comes to intimacy. And visa versa. But this can be difficult during times when you are experiencing poor health, fatigue, pregnancy, the newborn stage, toddler, long school days (if you are home schooling), teenagers (they keep you up late), and other life stresses. Did you notice that I included basically all that can be included in being a wife through the years? There always seems to be something that makes me tired at the end of the day, or not wanting to wake up early in the morning. But that does not give me an excuse to withhold what my husband needs. Granted, there are times of critical health crises, but those are the exception. Give your husband what he needs when ( or at least close to when) he needs it and you will never regret it. When you are lacking enthusiasm, that's OK. It's not about you - it's about him. It's your job description. Read I Corinthians 7:1-5 if you don't believe me! If you do not meet the needs of your husband, you are opening him up to temptations and you do not want to be the cause of that. And he will love you all the more for it - even when you are less than enthusiastic, he'll know and he'll appreciate that you gave of yourself for him even when you would have rather been doing something else, like sleeping. I know, I've been there more times than you can imagine (remember, I've been pregnant 14 times now!).<br />
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Please, do not manipulate your husband. There are so many ways that women can manipulate men. Using excuses to not meet your husband's need for intimacy is the NUMBER ONE NO NO! I can not urge this enough. Never use intimacy as a bargaining chip. It will destroy your intimacy. There are many other ways to manipulate. Pouting, the silent treatment, flirting, whining, nagging. You name it, some woman has done it to get her way. But the rewards are dismal. Getting what you want by manipulating your man will never satisfy you. And it will cause bitterness in your husband. Just don't do it. If he does something that hurts you, lovingly tell him. If you need something, lovingly ask him. If he is not meeting your needs, prayerfully, lovingly and humbly share this with him. If you have been wounded and he does not recognize it, admit it, or ask for forgiveness, forgive him. Christ has forgiven all your sins, so don't hold your husbands faults against him. You can choose to forgive him even if he doesn't ask, and even if he doesn't change or ever plan to change. Remember Christ said that we are to forgive 70 X 7 for<i> the same offense. </i>That means that you husband do the same thing that hurts you over and over again, and you should still forgive him. That's a tough thing to do, but as I have heard it said by our pastor, "God's Commands are His Enablings." If God tells you to do it, He will enable you to do it. So when you feel unforgiving, as God to give you forgiveness and wisdom and He will do it.<br />
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Another temptation for many young, and not so young, wives is to put your children first. It's so easy to allow your husband to drop down a notch or two (or three or four or....) when you are busy with the blessings that God sends your way. Children have a way of being impatient and demanding your attention right now, and being in your face about it. Never allow your children to interrupt your conversation with your husband. I have failed so many time with this, but I'm doing better as I get older and have so much practice at this! When your husband is at home and wants to converse with you, give him your undivided attention as much as you are able to (granted, a screaming baby is not exactly conductive to a great conversation, so do what it takes to be able to pay attention as quickly as possible). This is one very important way you can daily make your man know that you are number one earthly priority in your life. You will reap the benefits of a lifetime for this one little thing you can do for your husband.<br />
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Another way to make your man know that he is your priority is to stop anything you are doing and go great him when he comes home. Show him that you are glad that he has returned home. We try to do this everyday, and Daryl will expect it, but sadly, I forget at times. Take a few minutes before he comes home and brush your hair, drink some water, do something that refreshes you and greet him with a kiss and a lingering hug. It helps to release the tension of his work day! And ABOVE ALL, do not bombard him with all the details of your day! Even if there was a crisis and there is pressing/urgent business to attend to, it can wait a few minutes at least. Allow him time to defuse, rest and recover - imagine yourself settling into a warm bath after a cold day, it's like that. He's had the rush and stress of his business day all day and he's finally home - his home - his place away from the world. Let him think that home is heaven for at least a few minutes! If he is greeted with the cares and woes of home life every day the moment he comes home, his ride home will be not one of great anticipation, but of reluctance to face the onslaught of domestic crises. Even if you are tired and have had the worst day of your life, take a deep breath when you hear him pull into the driveway, put on your "I love your more than life" smile and great him like he is your prince charming...the rest can wait a few minutes. Better yet, wait until after dinner if at all possible before launching into the list of crisis!<br />
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Now, I want to talk to you about something you can not even imagine every happening right now. Loving your husband even when you are not completely infatuated with him. Right now you can not imagine ever losing that wonderful glow of being "in love." But that is yet another lie that our world has gifted to us. You do no "fall in love." Because if you can fall in love, then you can fall our of love. To fall into something means that the something is a noun. But LOVE in marriage (and any human relationship) is not a noun, it is a verb. It is an action. Love is something you do, everyday. Love is something that you need to do even when you don't feel loving towards your spouse. Real love means rubbing your husbands back while he is sick, making breakfast for him when you were up all night with a colicky baby, overlooking the mess of a toothpaste tube, again, picking up his dirty laundry from the floor, again, and washing it, putting the his clean clothes in his drawers so he can find them in the morning, even though just lifting your arms feels like you are lifting weights. You get the idea. It's the little things that show that you love him. Meeting his needs even when your needs are unmet. Doing the things for him that you know will make his day better, even if he doesn't realize it. Granted, during times of sickness, these little things need to be left undone, but in the general scheme of things, remember to show him your love in the things you do for him and the things you overlook too.<br />
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And lastly, please "date" your husband! This will help so much in keeping the glow in your relationship. And it is doubly important when things are not going as well as you want, and when life is busy with babies and children! Make a regular time of going out together. If your budget is tight, get some grandparents to babysit (yep, I'm volunteering), and make a picnic (eat in your car if it's winter!), bring a game and just enjoy some quiet time together. You could even just do this at home, but make it special in some way - candles, music. And when you can go out for "real dates" - dinner, movie, dessert, long walks, bowling or whatever you enjoy doing together. It's so important to keep your relationship close and alive, especially when life gets so busy.<br />
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I hope this letter is not a downer, I know I've had to share some of the many things that can make keeping your marriage strong and healthy difficult, but it is the difficult times that will make your marriage shine or crumble. What good is a good marriage if it can't stand the test of trials? Standing together through the tough times, the every day irritations, and the good times will make your marriage a wonderful thing. You relationship to your husband will improve with the years. He will become your prince and you will be able to see past his faults and see the heart of a champion - your champion. He will value you more than any other earthly prize, for he will have found one of the best prizes in this life, a godly wife.<br />
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So enjoy your wedding day. Make the most of your honeymoon. Appreciate every day that is trouble free, and remember my advice when you need it. And thank God every day for the blessing of your husband.<br />
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With All My Love,<br />
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MomAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08886358825163341179noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949460559595885524.post-6750363581322018722013-07-16T10:46:00.000-07:002013-08-06T10:28:08.812-07:00A Book for All My Daughters<div style="text-align: center;">
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No, no new letter yet. But I have something just as good! Last fall I was asked to contribute to a book about childbearing years. The authors all have two things in common. They have all given birth throughout their childbearing years. Some had many children (like me) and some had only a few, with long time spans between having babies. The second thing they all have in common is that they are women of faith. Faith in the God of the Bible, and they each recognize that He is the author and creator of life, and that God uses our childbearing years to create us to be Christlike. <br />
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Relinquishing control (or perceived control) of our bodies to the creative work of pregnancy and childbirth has many correlations to the walk of a believer. We have to take a back seat in order to really see the glory of what Christ is doing in us. If we fight against God and choose to give in to our natural desire to control our lives in any way, then we are not allowing God to be Lord of our lives, and we will suffer for it. If in no other way, we suffer from stress. Because we are not God, we are not created with the ability to control most things, so when we try, we are putting stress into our lives.<br />
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<a href="http://www.visionarywomanhood.com/three-decades-of-fertility/" target="_blank"><br /></a>
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Anyway, all that to say that this book is a great collection of stories. Stories of faith and trust. Stories of learning to recognize God's hand even in times of difficulty. Stories of triumph and stories of intense heartache. I wish all women of faith could read this book and learn of these women who have, in so many ways, "Been There, Done That."<br />
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Three Decades of Fertility was released in paperback and E-book on July 29! You can use the link near the top of the right side bar for ordering (I will get a commission on your order so thanks in advance for ordering using my link! With two trips to an Eastern European to rescue Priscilla, I'm sure any extra income will come in handy!).<br />
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But without further ado, please watch the trailer below, and click on the image in my side bar to read more about this book, and get a sneak peak at some of the stories, as well as other parts, of the book!<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="300" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/68302310?byline=0&portrait=0&color=ffffff" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="400"></iframe>Ruth Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00297156024421986096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949460559595885524.post-31127360304694856422013-06-13T21:59:00.001-07:002013-06-13T21:59:20.514-07:00New Daughters....I know this isn't a "letter", but bear with me as I have some very exciting news about my daughter, present and future!<br />
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We will be adding to our list of daughters in two ways this year. <br />
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First (at least probably first) we will be adding a daughter in law! <br />
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKSGXHAmi_KrM4hd81v0uCknVJjIjJFehHHe2VTFZDFdO_OHysTesktYnTcg3jbOKmMjtGsJ-m77d0oZkaE2FHGsw4hmufRFpo7teLaBBS-Kt_eJIFJ6V1LVKFrLgibqD0ZWM41CsJL64/s1600/Jeremy+and+Sam+engaged.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKSGXHAmi_KrM4hd81v0uCknVJjIjJFehHHe2VTFZDFdO_OHysTesktYnTcg3jbOKmMjtGsJ-m77d0oZkaE2FHGsw4hmufRFpo7teLaBBS-Kt_eJIFJ6V1LVKFrLgibqD0ZWM41CsJL64/s320/Jeremy+and+Sam+engaged.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13.333333969116211px;">Engaged 6/8/13</td></tr>
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Jeremy and Sam (as she prefers to be called), first noticed each other over a year ago. Jeremy spent a few months getting to know her father (more like her father getting to know Jeremy) about a year ago. Last December, Jeremy was given permission to court Sam, and she was very happy to be courted by Jeremy.<br />
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Just shy of 5 months of courting, Jeremy planned a very special day at a local park. At the previously planned appointed time, his brother, Jonathan, would "disappear." Jeremy very sweetly asked Sam to marry him, and she agreed!<br />
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There is no date set yet, but the ring is gorgeous - Jeremy did an excellent job of picking it out all by himself!<br />
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7q4llX4GsTIz1siyC45HyM3EVJJhT5ZCkNrSVqNqf2JpdbMesO1sVZNM3Vh_yiU-qhbReIsLem9hEpqPc3zthXM2xmIkMsKcjhO7e9ynLQJh_OslEi5oqMKHQ3Ah6wszJQYpTzi9ZM3G6/s1600/Ring+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7q4llX4GsTIz1siyC45HyM3EVJJhT5ZCkNrSVqNqf2JpdbMesO1sVZNM3Vh_yiU-qhbReIsLem9hEpqPc3zthXM2xmIkMsKcjhO7e9ynLQJh_OslEi5oqMKHQ3Ah6wszJQYpTzi9ZM3G6/s320/Ring+1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13.333333969116211px;">Photos courtesy of Sam's sister, Ali's <a href="http://shutterbugphotographybyali.blogspot.com/">Shutter Bug Photography Blog</a></td></tr>
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Needless to say we wholeheartedly approve and are so proud of Jeremy in being such a godly young man and seeking to glorify God in this and every area of his life. Sam has been raised in a family very similar to ours, and I am sure she will be an amazing help-meet to Jeremy. Her heart for the Lord and homemaking is wonderful to behold. We look forward to adding Sam to our list of godly daughters!<br />
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And secondly, we are in the process of adopting Priscilla (we will be giving her a new name once she is officially ours). You can read all about our adoption on my new blog,<a href="http://aseventhsister.blogspot.com/"> A Seventh Sister!</a><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjia3Z_Kw_FBevnwOPWUC4JVY80ciEeLSdKF8lk5B-KU0CmEh6pujOZyd88ygFAOaAsx6m7b4qabJcTTSrTZie7CiRNhMx5R0od6xAsxBbdZD7CJ64gija3jpKWfrz9z4vP3R92GhLWrc3k/s1600/Priscillainlilac.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjia3Z_Kw_FBevnwOPWUC4JVY80ciEeLSdKF8lk5B-KU0CmEh6pujOZyd88ygFAOaAsx6m7b4qabJcTTSrTZie7CiRNhMx5R0od6xAsxBbdZD7CJ64gija3jpKWfrz9z4vP3R92GhLWrc3k/s1600/Priscillainlilac.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(yes, I "photoshopped" that bow - I also changed the "blue" to lavender!<br />I just couldn't stand to see her in boy colors!)</td></tr>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08886358825163341179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949460559595885524.post-89735986901586899012012-07-10T09:40:00.000-07:002012-07-10T12:55:17.608-07:00Stewardship<span style="font-family: inherit;">My Daughters,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />I want to share my heart with you about living simply...being content in whatever financial situation God has place you in.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />I would love to be given the trial of riches, but so far my Lord has not seen fit to send me this trial! I say that to be funny, but in many ways it is true. I can be so easily tempted to desire for more than I have been given. It's so easy to worry about tomorrow and how we will pay the bills and make ends meet. I am slowly learning that this is not what God wants me to be doing. He wants me to trust in Him, in His provision for me. I need to remind myself so often that He knows what is best for me and my family. If this means poverty, then so be it. If this means riches, then I hope that I will be a good steward of all He blesses us with. We seem to always be somewhere in the middle.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />Money, finances and stewardship are talked about in scripture a lot:<br />Proverbs warns three times against being surety for another person (6:1, 11:15, 17:18) as well as warning against borrowing <span style="background-color: white;">(Prov 22:7 "<i>The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender</i>").</span></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHIvxPvk98TC6PkdZqqeN-f6L1pE2aNHAWc6O74gHZvqRAgsmNjf5HtNRp0atKUMmuWw_50CAzjixJvaw8XXgeZ4bpkKfZU718Emn58DzLQMZtr5Pb6MKUELNl2QIFnG3AKmbD8Mb3aB0/s1600/money-in-hands-clip-art8-150x150.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHIvxPvk98TC6PkdZqqeN-f6L1pE2aNHAWc6O74gHZvqRAgsmNjf5HtNRp0atKUMmuWw_50CAzjixJvaw8XXgeZ4bpkKfZU718Emn58DzLQMZtr5Pb6MKUELNl2QIFnG3AKmbD8Mb3aB0/s1600/money-in-hands-clip-art8-150x150.gif" /></span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />Jesus told the parable of the talents (Matt 25:14 - 30) . Jesus also told a parable about the man who hoarded his wealth, storing it up in barns, yet he died before he could enjoy his wealth (Luke 12:17 - 12).<br />Paul stated emphatically in Romans 13:8 "<i>Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law</i>."<br />Paul also admonished Timothy of the potential evils of loving money in I Timothy 6:10 - " <i>For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs</i>."<br />Jesus said in Matt 25:29, "<i>For to everyone who has, more shall be given, and he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away</i>. "</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />First and foremost, I want to share with you about tithing. God required the Israelite tithe 10% of everything. Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 9:7 that God loves a cheerful giver. Out of thanks in our hearts for all the God has provided for us, we should give back to God from our "first fruits". Give to God (via your church of Christian ministries) first from your income, then pay your bills, and live/save from what is left.</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigHzYDbGYiLDA675S-gwMs0CmIzBP_60QjVL_DbE_3OzqGB6CtMO8RXfl0a04o9kR4oXrwfGJatEfWVNP7hbxssU8VfF_h4uqHKJ86_0_uT4fsRgEg9rItCrGwWNjHo8j35ouQsx5_AoE/s1600/slavery.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigHzYDbGYiLDA675S-gwMs0CmIzBP_60QjVL_DbE_3OzqGB6CtMO8RXfl0a04o9kR4oXrwfGJatEfWVNP7hbxssU8VfF_h4uqHKJ86_0_uT4fsRgEg9rItCrGwWNjHo8j35ouQsx5_AoE/s200/slavery.jpg" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">Next, let's talk about debt. Going into debt to purchase something is really showing a lack of trusting in God. I know that sounds extreme, but I believe it to be true. If God had wanted you to get that item, He would have provided the resources for obtaining it without incurring debt. Being content with what He has provided can be a very hard thing to do, but it is so important. If there's something you need/want but don't have the funds to purchase, pray about it. Pray that God would provide the means to get that item, or that He would cause you to be content without it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /> The one possible exception to this rule is that of housing. Owning a home is nearly impossible today without borrowing money, but some have been able to do it. I recommend looking at other ways to acquire a home without borrowing money, or borrowing as little as possible. Living in a low rent home while saving up the money for land, and then building using cash would be the ideal. You could even live on the land saving the money that would be spent on rent. This can be a very real sacrifice and can make the day to day living difficult at best, but I have known of people who have done this successfully. I have also known of people who have purchased a home that was in need of lots of fixing up, so the cost of purchasing was low, requiring little or no borrowing of money. Then they fix it up and sell it for a substantial profit once it is in great shape, and then they do it all over again, with a larger/better home. That way they work their way up into a beautiful home that meets the needs of their family. This takes a lot of hard work, but can be very rewarding. </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBaDI1iyJaUv_U1MU1eJsKMovNQHxp0LWJBln2JLk1awpL8m4_dB85dNjeXxIOZww-mvYw5dMhdRFY9S-1H_YU_WQBqyjnZmCDihvubJdyhPPKxIBfW84MDEVx1ZG8gizZ8kOE9U4DHV8/s1600/dollar-sign-puzzle-together.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBaDI1iyJaUv_U1MU1eJsKMovNQHxp0LWJBln2JLk1awpL8m4_dB85dNjeXxIOZww-mvYw5dMhdRFY9S-1H_YU_WQBqyjnZmCDihvubJdyhPPKxIBfW84MDEVx1ZG8gizZ8kOE9U4DHV8/s1600/dollar-sign-puzzle-together.jpg" /></span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">Living below your means, whenever possible is the ideal. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Keeping your living expenses below your income will keep you out of financial troubles. If you can save a portion of each paycheck, then you won't be caught when large expenses, unforeseen, show up. This can also prevent you from being tempted to borrow to purchase, as why would you borrow money if you have money saved up?<br />Keeping your living expenses low can be something you work at everyday - turning out lights when you leave a room, turning down the thermostat, making things from scratch instead of buying them store-bought (like bread, cookies, ice cream, pizza), staying home more/combining trips to lower fuel consumption, using cloth diapers, feminine pads, washcloths and napkins instead of disposables diapers, pads, paper towels (reduces waste too!), use natural and alternative medicines when appropriate to save on the cost of doctor visits, shop once or twice a month instead of every week, do without instead of making a special trip to the store for a missing ingredient, give up luxuries like eating out, espresso drinks and pedicures...look through your bank ledger and see where you are spending your money and be creative in trying to reduce all expenses. Make it fun - see how little you can live on, recording milestones like "our power bill just hit a new low record"!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />Budgeting can sound like a bad thing, having to stay within your budget can be a downer if you don't have the right attitude. But a budget can be a powerful tool! I highly recommend using a computer software program like <a href="http://quicken.intuit.com/" target="_blank">Quicken</a> to keep your bookkeeping. There are many functions in the program for you to use to track your spending. I also recommend that you keep it up to date as much as possible - recording your expenses at least weekly. This can also help you plan for bills and recurring expenses, and allow you to project your income and expenses for the next week.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />After tithing and monthly bills like rent/mortgage payments, power/gas, water, garbage have been paid, what's left is called discretionary spending. <span style="background-color: white;">Discretionary money needs to be allotted for items like savings, food, clothing, household items, fuel/licensing for vehicles and such. Saving up money can be challenging at times, but if you make it a priority it will be such a blessing. I'd suggest you have an account set up that will automatically put a certain amount of money into your savings account every payday. Or use cash every week for shopping and put any left over money into savings (we never seem to have anything left over so that doesn't work for us).</span></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKT0zfac_9PBX3tpF9K-_RFvBfkAZmLcSYFxN_I-F1KNc-vEg6L56XYiQ-KSyh7l6VqOarHQo8LAkG7WHEFoET6u-1ZN1OpjB55klOGV43lLv3WUJ5EYXIXePQk9GoryVZRDiCaogYZ7k/s1600/50percentoff.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKT0zfac_9PBX3tpF9K-_RFvBfkAZmLcSYFxN_I-F1KNc-vEg6L56XYiQ-KSyh7l6VqOarHQo8LAkG7WHEFoET6u-1ZN1OpjB55klOGV43lLv3WUJ5EYXIXePQk9GoryVZRDiCaogYZ7k/s200/50percentoff.jpg" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white;">When it comes to clothing, you can save so much when you get creative! I suggest that you never buy new unless you have tried everything else first! I also suggest that you make use of your local consignment store. Turn in clothes/toys that you don't use anymore, and use the credit to purchase what you need there, or take the credit out in cash and use it to shop elsewhere. Be picky about what consignment shop you use, as some of them are not reputable and may close their doors, take your stuff and cancel your credit (this happened to me once!). You can also store clothing that you are not using now, but might again someday. If you're a mom, then save the out-grown clothes that are in good condition to pass down to your younger children. When you need something, shop at the consignment shop where you have credit first, then go to the second hand stores like Goodwill or Salvation Army. You can also make use of garage sales, but they can be hit and miss as far as finding the right clothes needed, plus you might lose some of the savings if you use a lot of gas to go running around to the sales. When we went to garage-sales frequently, we'd check the ads and make a map of what sale we plan to go to, making the least amount of running around. This saved time and money! One other way to save if you can't find what you need second hand, is to go to the discount stored like TJ Maxx, Tuesday Morning or Ross where they have close out items marked way down, but sometimes it can take a lot of time to find what you need there. You can also get household items there as well, but go with caution as this can be a place of great temptation to impulse shop - purchasing something just because it's such a great price, but it's not what you were shopping for!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>Another expense that can get out of hand quickly is groceries. I've heard that some people stop at the grocery store every evening to purchase what they need for dinner and the next days meals, or they eat out for every meal! Crazy! The best way to handle aquiring the needed food for you/your family is to plan ahead! Never enter a grocery store without a list and/or hungry, you will purchase items you don't need and waste your hard earned/saved money! Set aside one day a week to plan your menu (I do this the same day I do the bookkeeping), using your local grocery store ads/coupons and big store coupons to help you decide what you will have for meals. I have found it very helpful to have a list of the items I usually purchase at different stores and list the usual price. This helps with budgeting and I can also use it as a reference to find out if the grocery store "special price" is truly a savings over the regular price at the big stores like Walmart and Costco. I'd also recommend that you keep an inventory of what you already have, update that weekly, and try to make use of what you already have when you create your menu. I hope to install a dry erase board on the door to our garage to have an inventory in sight of the items in the garage fridge and freezer to help with this. It might also include a list of what's in the pantry too. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSfI_nwoljljnKg56Z2r4XdC_vGlYF5WGIe6kV4CZWtms1VMAExcw38fYN8XoIWmvIBDbSS3OtB4JEbCEjnpQTEBkCN4EYRDlrQakuwyY7bO81BXHi-zd_eajDddwYlMDwCx93fM5G7s0/s1600/shoppinglist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSfI_nwoljljnKg56Z2r4XdC_vGlYF5WGIe6kV4CZWtms1VMAExcw38fYN8XoIWmvIBDbSS3OtB4JEbCEjnpQTEBkCN4EYRDlrQakuwyY7bO81BXHi-zd_eajDddwYlMDwCx93fM5G7s0/s200/shoppinglist.jpg" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">Once you are ready, put together your menu for the length of time between shopping trips, using your inventory and good deals to help come up with ideas for the meals. If you have an inventory item or great deal on something you are not sure how to use, go to the internet and search for recipes that use that ingredient - we did this recently and found a wonderful bean soup recipe - Pinterest is great for this! I like to include all meals in our menu, plus a list of snacks as well. Then you create your shopping list from your menu, making use of the sales/coupons that you have found. If you live far from the big stores like Costco and Walmart/Target, you might want to budget in such a way that you can make a big shopping trip once a month, or twice a month, and get only perishables at the local grocery store in between. This can save a lot of time and money, but it takes a lot of planning to have enough cash on hand to purchase so much at once! We also keep a running list on our dry erase board of thing we notice we need (especially staples like flour, salt, sugar or things like toilet paper that we don't purchase regularly), and use that to help us get everything we need each week, hopefully eliminating extra trips to the store in between shopping days.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsxbw9-rDZTl9nBb6IujKf3wBehgeVVQEM5AbfeQQny76Zz6JQ4F3DFz9yztv8ej5qHvd86GB8NWh6FjQKBlEtu1FAoSbt72cd-dM0ZAj4mwv-364NMYShTnOumHZx8UxNA10lGmWYYr0/s1600/weeklybudget.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="100" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsxbw9-rDZTl9nBb6IujKf3wBehgeVVQEM5AbfeQQny76Zz6JQ4F3DFz9yztv8ej5qHvd86GB8NWh6FjQKBlEtu1FAoSbt72cd-dM0ZAj4mwv-364NMYShTnOumHZx8UxNA10lGmWYYr0/s200/weeklybudget.jpg" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">Once you have your menu created, it's time to compile your shopping list. I like to use a computer spread sheet (<a href="http://www.openoffice.org/" target="_blank">Open Office</a> is a great, free resource for this) for this using one column for the item name and the next column for it's approximate cost. This way I can program it to come up with the totals for each store for me and it makes for easy editing if the list goes over budget. I like to put my list for each store in the order that I usually shop - for example, putting the produce/dairy/dry goods all together and in the order I go through that particular store as this helps prevent missing an item or having to spend more time and energy to go back through the store for an item I missed. I often make up my lists by hand (not on the computer), but I usually end up writing it twice or it's quite a mess by the time I'm done due to edits or adding items missed on the first run through. When I think I'm finished with my list, I read through my menu again to be sure I have all the items needed for the meals, and take a quick look at our staples to try to make sure we have everything on the list that we need. Then it's time to see if the shopping list is within our budget. If it isn't it's time to get creative. You can reduce your grocery list to meet your budget by changing the meals selected to lower cost meals, removing items that are not truly necessary, purchasing smaller amounts (like getting a smaller pack of toilet paper from the grocery store instead of the huge pack at Costco). If your list is on the small side, consider just going to the local grocery store and then you can use what you save on gas for more food items (this works better if you live a ways from the big stores).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />One way we have recently found to add to our available food, especially produce, is to join a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Gleaners-Pantry/188164647892327" target="_blank">gleaners group</a>. We go there 1 - 2 times a week and come home with at least a box full of produce/breads for less than $15/mo! It takes a little time and effort, but it's well worth it as produce and breads can break you budget faster than anything (besides meat)! You can also find out where to glean in farmer's fields throughout the summer months.</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivl9Dh2eE1JHUrFkSLL_NC6dxrh8rkzKSOM98fqZWjcuX4Jonayt7FmsyqUJ9WDyAmeZj3P9DsVt4YKcrutN69dmiNUpLIt69a9MEMbPORJMcVl_9NeWnq4jR3wsQTZYD1B_Vxx2RF6y4/s1600/canning.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivl9Dh2eE1JHUrFkSLL_NC6dxrh8rkzKSOM98fqZWjcuX4Jonayt7FmsyqUJ9WDyAmeZj3P9DsVt4YKcrutN69dmiNUpLIt69a9MEMbPORJMcVl_9NeWnq4jR3wsQTZYD1B_Vxx2RF6y4/s200/canning.jpg" width="132" /></span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">And then there is preserving of food. This is a great way to provide for your family! Purchasing produce and meats in bulk when the price is good/it is in season and then preserving it for future use is a great way to reduce your costs, especially if you can grow/raise it yourself or glean from farmer's fields! Canning, freezing and dehydrating are just some of the options for putting food up for later. If you haven't learned how to do these, or don't have the equipment, find someone who does and learn from them/borrow their equipmenc <span style="background-color: white;">(or learn via the internet/Youtube videos)</span><span style="background-color: white;"> and work toward being able to do it on your own - it's well worth the investment of time and energy!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white;">One last category of living expenses I'd like to talk about is that of vehicles - cars, trucks, recreational vehicles. </span><span style="background-color: white;">I highly recommend purchasing your cars used and do not owe anything on them. You'll pay far less in car maintenance and repair than you would ever pay in car payments with interest. Also, by owning your vehicles outright, you are not required to have comprehensive car insurance on your cars and this lowers your insurance expense more than you can imagine. Due to the high price of gas, think twice before leaving the house, and try to use the most efficient car for errands whenever possible. I would recommend never purchasing a new car, or even a newer used car. Shop around, get a mechanic to look over a car you are interested in, and l</span>
Learn to do some of the repairs/maintenance yourself <span style="background-color: white;">- oil changes, for example, can be done yourself and save a lot through the years</span><span style="background-color: white;">, and find a local, reliable auto mechanic for the big jobs.</span><span style="background-color: white;">. Shop around for the best deal in auto insurance if you are required to have that. I suggest that older children don't get a driver's license until they can afford to pay for their auto insurance so that they learn that responsibility goes with the privilege of driving.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">There is one gift from God that we can all too easily take for granted and squander needlessly - Time. Many times in scripture God tells us that our time on this earth has been set by Him - we can not add to it, and no one can snatch us from His hand - no death is early as God is in control of our time. Living in fear of sudden death is unbiblical, but living like you'll live forever is too. Each day is precious, every hour priceless. No one knows how many days have been allotted for that lifetime - some live only a few hours/days/months, others live a hundred years or more. Live like everyday might be your last, because it just might be. Don't squander your time on fruitless activities (movies, video games to name a few) but try to make every moment count for your gain and His glory. Invest in the people in your lives, invest in the pursuit of godliness. I'm not saying that recreation is evil, and that you can't ever watch a movie, but be careful in the choices you make. Start every day asking God for wisdom to use your time wisely. Try to plan your day by making a list of things that need to be done, but also be willing to be interrupted, as God quite often will </span>interrupt<span style="font-family: inherit;"> our day to bring blessings (like a little child wanting to go for a walk or a friend calling to get together), but if we are so set on our plan for the day we might miss out on a blessing.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>Now I'd like to talk about stewardship for what God has already blessed you with. It's so easy to take for granted what you already have - your home, your vehicles, your furniture, your clothing, your food, your equipment, your time and your health. All of these are blessings from your Father in heaven and they each need to be cared for in order to preserve them and make the most out of them. Repair things when they are broken, mend clothing when they are torn, eat left overs before they rot, properly clean and care for your kitchen appliances, and use your time wisely. Exercise, take vitamins, get proper sleep and eat healthy to preserve your health. Thank God for His provision and show your thankfulness for taking good care of what He has given you to show yourself faithful and He will reward your faithfulness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /> I saved this for last, but it really should be first. If you have a need, pray about it! So often we worry and fret over our budgets and things that we seem to need. Listen to what Jesus told us in Matthew 6:</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">"Do not be worried about your life, <br />as to what you will eat or what you will drink; </span><span style="background-color: white;">nor for your body, as to what you will put on. <br />Is not life more than food, </span><span style="background-color: white;">and the body more than clothing? </span><span style="background-color: white;">Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, </span><span style="background-color: white;">and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. <br />Are you not worth much more than they? </span><span style="background-color: white;">And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? </span><span style="background-color: white;">And why are you worried about clothing? </span><span style="background-color: white;">Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, </span><span style="background-color: white;">yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. </span><span style="background-color: white;">But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today<br /> and tomorrow</span><span style="background-color: white;"> is thrown into the furnace, <br />will He not much more clothe you?<br /> </span><span style="background-color: white;">You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, <br />‘What will we eat?’ </span><span style="background-color: white;">or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ </span><span style="background-color: white;">For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; </span><span style="background-color: white;">for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. </span><span style="background-color: white;">But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, </span><span style="background-color: white;">and all these things will be added to you. </span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-color: white;">So do not worry about tomorrow; </span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-color: white;">for tomorrow will care for itself. </span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-color: white;">Each day has enough trouble of its own."</span></span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">When you are in need of something, turn to the One who ones the cattle on a thousand hills and ask Him to provide for you. Look for His provision, recognize it when it comes and take time to thank Him for it. But also remember that He might deem it best for you to do without, or wait for a time. This is when you must learn to be content, as Paul tells us in Philippians 4:</span><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">"<i>...for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.</i></span><span style="background-color: white;"><i><br />I know how to get along with humble means,<br /> </i></span><span style="background-color: white;"><i>and I also know how to live in prosperity;<br /> </i></span><span style="background-color: white;"><i>in any and every circumstance I have learned<br /> </i></span><span style="background-color: white;"><i>the secret of being filled and going hungry, </i></span><span style="background-color: white;"><i>both of having abundance and suffering need.</i>"</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">Be creative, make do, stretch your resources, care for what you already have and learn to be content. Ask God daily for wisdom, self control and a spirit of contentment. Those are the keys to learning to be a good steward. </span><span style="background-color: white;">I hope and pray that when you and I stand before my Lord and Savior that we will hear these blessed words:</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">"</span><span style="background-color: white;"><i>Well done, good and faithful servant. </i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">
</span><span style="text-align: left;"></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white;">You have been faithful over a little; </i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="text-align: left;">
<i></i></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="text-align: left;"><i><i style="background-color: white;">I will set you over much. </i></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="text-align: left;"><i>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: white;">Enter into the joy of your master.</i><span style="background-color: white;">"</span></div>
</i><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> (Matt 25:21)</span></div>
</span><span style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: white;">You have been faithful over a little;</i></div>
</span><span style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: white;">I will set you over much.</i></div>
</span><span style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: white;">Enter into the joy of your master.</i><span style="background-color: white;">"</span></div>
</span><span style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"> (Matt 25:21)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white;">All My Love,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white;">Mom</span></div>
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<br />Ruth Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00297156024421986096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949460559595885524.post-3304306052536273762012-06-06T16:55:00.001-07:002012-07-10T12:50:36.032-07:00Homemaking 101My Daughters,<br />
<br />
I am not an expert on homemaking or housework, but I can share with you what has worked for me, as well as things I have learned about all things home-ish through the years.<br />
<br />
The first thing about homemaking and housework is that it can be fun! Seeing chaos turn into something pleasing to the eyes can be very rewarding. In order to find pleasure in working around your home, you need to have the right perspective - and seeing it as just plain old work will make it tiresome. Yes, some "chores" are very repetative and even boring if you come to the work without a good attitude, but it doesn't have to be that way. <br />
<br />
In Titus chapter 2, Paul encourages women, both young and old, to be "keepers at home." To me this means that women are to be the guardians and caretakers of the home. Not that we can't leave our homes, but that it is our privilege and duty to take care of our home and make that a very high priority in our lives. Our homes should be the one place in all the world where each member of your family wants to be to relax, feel at ease, accepted and loved. <br />
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The first part of homemaking is creating a place of refuge from the world for our loved ones and this is a great way to show them your love. And your refuge from the world can and will be a refuge for others as well - extended family, friends and acquaintances will come to your home at different times, and if your home is pleasant and well cared for they will sense this and be able to relax, de-stress and enjoy your hospitality so much more than if your home was in chaos.<br />
<br />
I am not talking about making your home look like something from a magazine (most of those homes do not look inviting to me at all as I'd be afraid I'd mess up the perfection just by being there!), and you don't have to have invested a lot of money either. Using what God has provided for you to create beauty does not require lots of money, just careful planning. I'll go more into this later. The important part is that you work to create an environment in your home that is pleasant, both in appearance and in mood (screaming, uncontrolled children, for example, would not create a great mood - but that is for another letter my dears!).<br />
<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FKE82FvDI24/TxRa19ykgBI/AAAAAAAAA6A/5vDoIZfVMtI/s1600/18333871461.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FKE82FvDI24/TxRa19ykgBI/AAAAAAAAA6A/5vDoIZfVMtI/s200/18333871461.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="http://thumbs.gograph.com/gg53964759.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://thumbs.gograph.com/gg53964759.jpg" width="200" /></a>So what does it take to make a house into a home that meets the needs of your family? There are a lot of things to consider when trying to create a place of refuge for your family. The most important is to consider the likes and dislikes of your family, especially the man of the house! If your father or husband hates the color green, then you shouldn't decorate using that as a primary color. If he likes to come home to a tidy home, then making a time to tidy up before he comes home from work should be a primary priority. Ask your dad or husband what makes him feel well cared for when he is home, what colors he likes, what kind of furniture is he the most comfortable relaxing in. Does he like a cozy place with lots of things to look at, or does he prefer a wide open room with very few decorative items. Some men may have no idea what they like, and if that's the case, ask them to think about homes they have been in where they felt like they could relax and enjoy the company, and see what he remembers about the atmosphere, furniture and decor thatwas there. You could even check out books on interior design and look through them with him and see what appeals to him. Once you have some idea of what will work for him, then you have a place to start!<br />
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I believe color is very important when planning to create atmosphere! Reds are aggressive and powerful and can lead to feelings of irritation or even anger, whereas blues and greens are calming - Check out<a href="http://isocialrealty.com/color-psychology-colors-create-a-mood-in-a-room/" target="_blank"> this article about creating a mood in a room </a>using colors. Lots of color can make a small room seem smaller or help make a large open room seem more cozy. Pale or cool neutral colors can make a small room feel larger or make a large room feel starched or cold. The color you use should flow through the room - paint (maybe one wall will be a darker color while the others are lighter), wall paper, borders, pillows, wall hangings, knick knacks and the furniture may be in the color(s) of the room, but having some things in neutral colors (white/black or woodgrain) or a complimentary color can really create a nice blend, and not make the room overwhelmingly one color. You may also find a theme for the room - nature, mountains, grapes. antiques or light houses for example. Start simple and add items to the room as you find them/can afford them and over time the room will become exactly what your family need. Make use of second hand stores and garage sales to purchase decor for your rooms to save even more money! Making items for the room yourself is a great way to make your room really personal too!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2bNvBQw6fjeHnQ7FCWhGLp0ICM1ttOd_hGDFHTKs5wA0Gg8otplsNNjBaiZDcgfDy1FmXje0ZL-3XhM2wUg05HUehgCZ0BLZ5MP5Y-nfgyKlLCK19gFjLqfwEr4Htxc8DFzC2kurv_Vc/s640/New+livingroom+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2bNvBQw6fjeHnQ7FCWhGLp0ICM1ttOd_hGDFHTKs5wA0Gg8otplsNNjBaiZDcgfDy1FmXje0ZL-3XhM2wUg05HUehgCZ0BLZ5MP5Y-nfgyKlLCK19gFjLqfwEr4Htxc8DFzC2kurv_Vc/s320/New+livingroom+1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I found "<a href="http://thehomemakingarts.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">The Homemaking Arts</a>" blog and I highly recommend it!</td></tr>
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But where do you start? Creating a peaceful home can't be done in a day, and whether you are a young girl in your mother's home, a young woman engaged to be married planning her future home or a mother of many who needs to transform a home of chaos into a place of refuge it can be a daunting task. Start with the room where your family spends the most time, whether that's the kitchen or the living room or the family room. Start there and create a refuge in that room, and then move on to the next room from there. <br />
<br />
If you are a young lady in your mother's home, do this in your bedroom. If you share your bedroom with a sister or sisters, work with her/them to find a way to create a place of refuge that you both/all like. Creating a pleasant bedroom, maintaining it's order and keeping it clean (like washing windows and walls) is a great way to prepare yourself to be a keeper of a home someday!<br />
<br />
But what about living in this place of refuge. Doesn't that mean that it won't remain in perfect order all the time? I've been in homes where perfect order was maintained at all times in beautifully decorated rooms - and the children felt like visitors in their own home, choosing to hide away in their bedrooms or stay away from home as much as possible rather than risk upsetting their mother by making any disruption to the perfection of their home. Creating a refuge for your family means that they feel free to experience the room, make a little mess at times and relax. A place that is inviting means that it will be lived in and will end up looking lived in, but that isn't all bad! It means you did a good job of making the room inviting and your family has enjoyed using the room together!<br />
<br />
So that brings me to the second part of homemaking - maintaining a home! Maintaining a home can be as important as creating a refuge in the first place. If you create a refuge, but allow clutter, messes and chaos to take over, it will no longer be a refuge! If you keep your home tidy, but never do any cleaning, it can and will become anything but a refuge before long (who feels comfortable sitting under a huge cobweb or walking across a sticky/dirty floor!).<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1934554499/ref=as_li_tf_il?ie=UTF8&tag=11blesblog-20&linkCode=as2&camp=217145&creative=399377&creativeASIN=1934554499" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://ws.assoc-amazon.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&Format=_SL110_&ASIN=1934554499&MarketPlace=US&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&tag=11blesblog-20&ServiceVersion=20070822" /></a>I hightly recommend creating a daily/weekly/monthly plan to keep your home tidy and clean! <img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=11blesblog-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1934554499&camp=217145&creative=399377" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />Large Family Logistics is a great book to help you to do this. It helps you plan your week around the things that need to be done every week in your home. It also helps to plan for the less frequent jobs, like dusting, washing windows and spring cleaning. A very helpful part of the book is in the back where she talks about how to keep things going around your home when the going gets tough, like when mom is pregnant, has had a new baby, or is sick, or when a child is in the hospital. Very practical help for any mother, whether or not she has a large family!<br />
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Cleaning the house and keeping it tidy are those repetitive/boring chores I talked about earlier. But to make them pleasant and even enjoyable, take time while you are working to thank God for the family He has given you. Think about the pleasure a tidy/clean room will give to the members of your family. Another way to encourage yourself and your family to keep things in order in your home is to actively plan hospitality events! This may include making a list of families in your church or homeschool group that you want to get to know better and plan to invite them over for a game night or meal. This could also include planning bigger events like a potluck, a game night or a tea party. Knowing that you will be having guests is always incentive to get things looking their best. But remember, while you are getting ready for an event, you need to be careful not to make your home a stressful place, causing your loved ones to feel stressed about preparing for guests or making them feel like they are causing problems. Your home will not feel like a refuge if you are stressing about the housework!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://turtleshack.com/store/images/clipart_household_cleaning_products_17.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://turtleshack.com/store/images/clipart_household_cleaning_products_17.gif" /></a>But what about the knitty gritty of how to clean a home? I highly recommend finding ways to make your own cleaning solutions. Research on line, ask your friends what they use. I have found many ways to make our own window cleaner, tub scrubbing compound, counter cleaning spray and more. I just did some online research and found lots of recipes to try! This saves time (you don't have to go shopping) and money (homemade is always cheaper!) and will be less harmful to your health (many store bought cleaning supplies contain harmful chemicals!). Make up a basket of cleaning supplies for each bathroom, the kitchen and the laundry room and put it under the sink, then when it's time to clean that room all your supplies are right at hand and you don't waste time collecting them.<br />
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<br />
There is no right way to clean, but there are some great helpful books and websites out there. I did "Flylady" for a while, but found it impractical for a large family. "Large Family Logistics" is a lot like Flylady, but tweaked to make it work for a large family. I do think it's good to have routines in place so that in the course of a month you get everything in your house cleaned, and that way if something doesn't get done one month, it will get done the next and things stay nice looking! The best advice I can give you is to clean up messes when they happen (this applies to dishes especially). When the mess is fresh it's easiest to clean. Second to that is to use water to do the work for you! If you have a sticky/dirty mess to clean up, spray it with water or water that has some dish detergent in it, go do some other job and then come back. It will wipe right up, and if not, wipe up what will come off, spray it again, go do something else and come back. No need to scrub, just let the water do the work for you!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Esther (2 1/2) unloading<br />
the dryer!</td></tr>
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The most important things a mother can do to make the workload lighter is to delegate. As long as there are children in the house old enough to walk, there is a workforce that needs to be tapped! Even toddlers can put away spoons, sort socks or fold washcloths! While teaching children to do chores can mean more work for the mom at first, the benefits in the long run are huge. For the mom is relieves her of some of the day to day workload allowing her to be more of a mom and less of a maid. This is really important if the Lord blesses the home with more children as many hands make light work, but many bodies who don't help make for an overwhelmed mother and a crazy house. For the children, learning to help with the housework and doing them on a daily basis is training that is so important for preparing them to take care of their own homes someday! I believe in training my sons to do all the housework as well. Yes, women are to be the main caretaker of the home, but knowing how to tidy and clean and do things like dishes and laundry can be very important for men. There may be a time when he is living on his own, or his wife is ill or away from home. When his family is young and the workload is daunting, having the young husband lend a hand in the evenings and on weekends can mean so much to a your mother!<br />
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One more trick I will share with you is to tackle big jobs a little bit at a time. When you are facing a big mess, start in one corner and work for 15 - 20 minutes (start a timer). Have a garbage bag, a box and a bin. Put garbage in the garbage bag, things to give away in the box and things to put away in other rooms in the bin. Work steadily from that corner across one wall, work diligently, leaving a very tidy path behind you, and do not allow yourself to get distracted. When your timer goes off, leave the room! Go do something fun or enjoyable for 5 - 10 minutes (use a timer), and then go back to tackling your big job. If you can't finish the entire job in one morning/afternoon/day, then be sure to maintain the areas you have cleaned and tackle the rest again the next time you can! This is especially great for areas like the garage, attic or family room (especially after an illness in the house and the housework was left undone for a while).<br />
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Lastly, making your house a home and keeping it that way will have its ups and downs. Sometimes as a mother things get down to survival and the home can suffer for it. When that happens, focus on just the most important things and let the rest slide. If you can plan ahead for the tough times (like having a new baby), simplify as much as possible (put most of the toys away in the attic for example). When you find yourself physically challenged, overwhelmed and understaffed, try to get help. Especially if you are injured or unable to do the work for a while. Ask other women and/or families to come and help you with specific tasks that are beyond your capabilities. Allow them to be blessed by helping you in your time of need. And be willing to do the same for others when they need the help and you are able to do so - offer to help before they have to ask for it! <br />
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Homemaking can be such a rewarding part of being a keeper at home. Do it purposefully and out of love for your family. Make your house a home where the Lord is glorified and others are blessed. <br />
<br />
All My Love,<br />
<br />
Mom<br />
<br />
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<br />Ruth Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00297156024421986096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949460559595885524.post-87852493523410004782012-05-10T10:36:00.000-07:002012-07-10T12:50:41.493-07:00Oh Be Careful...<span style="background-color: white;">My</span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span>Daughters,<br />
<br />
Purity has taken some hits through history. Hundreds of years ago, those who wanted to worship God in pure, undefiled worship, completely unrestricted by the state church, were labeled "Puritans". This was not a compliment, it was an insult. But they liked the name and took it as their own. Many who take purity seriously today are labeled as "legalists" or worse. I'd like to talk about purity and it's place in our lives as believers and followers of Christ.
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So, what is the definition of purity? Hagnotes definition is "chastity, uprightness of life". Merriam-Webster defines it as "the quality or state of being pure", and defines "pure" as "free from moral fault or guilt" . Vines Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words defines purity as "pure from defilement, not contaminated" and says it is from the same root as "holy".
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When I was a very little girl, I learned a song that we often sang in school that is all about purity, even though I didn't know it at the time. The words go like this:<br />
<br />
Oh be careful little eyes what you see!<br />
Oh be careful little eyes what you see!<br />
For the Father up above,<br />
Is looking down in love,<br />
So be careful little eyes what you see!<br />
<br />
<br />
Oh be careful little ears what you hear!<br />
Oh be careful little ears what you
hear !<br />
For the Father up above,<br />
Is looking down in love,<br />
So be careful little ears what you
hear !<br />
<br />
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Oh be careful little hands what you do!<br />
Oh be careful little hands what you do!<br />
For the Father up above,<br />
Is looking down in love,<br />
So be careful little hands what you do!<br />
<br />
It was such a fun song to sing because it had great hand motions to go with it. The words are so good for children to learn too. It's so easy for children to see, hear and do things that they shouldn't, and the memories can last a lifetime! But this song isn't just for children! We must all be very careful what we allow ourselves to see, hear and do.<br />
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Casting Crowns recently released a song called "Slow Fade", and they included children singing a verse of the "Oh Be Careful" song in it. This song has a great message for all of us. It's so easy to allow things into our lives that seem insignificant at the time, but they can quickly grow and take over our lives, destroying our relationship with God and our families. Take a moment to watch and listen to this music video:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/QASREBVDsLk?rel=0" width="560"></iframe><br />
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It's so easy to let our moral purity slide in today's culture, but it can start in childhood.<br />
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As children, there is a purity of mind, a naivety, that is something to protect. While all are born with sin, babies and young children have this purity if they have been sheltered from the evils of our world. They assume that all people are good and would never hurt them. They haven't been exposed to corrupt things that seep into their thoughts. At least most children. Sadly there are many children who have been exposed to evil through the movies and music their parents and family watch/listen to, and even more tragic are the children exposed to evils purposely by corrupt adults. But that is not what I am going to be dealing with today. I want to talk about what we allow into our lives and the lives of those around us.<br />
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Children need to be protected from evil influences. Images, songs, and actions that children see, hear and participate in can stick with them for a lifetime, robbing them of some of the joys that most of us take for granted. Young adults are bombarded in our culture at too early an age with images and songs that encourage them to think about boy/girl relationships and expose them to adult temptations long before they are mature enough to withstand them. Today homeschoolers have been accused over and over again of sheltering their children. These critics say that when these sheltered homeschooled children get "out in the world" they will freak out - go off the deep end. That they will not be able to "handle" all that the world will throw at them. They would rather see us begin to expose our children to the ways of the world while they are young, so they are used to it when they become young adults.<br />
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I believe that the philosophy of the world is flawed, and that there is great merit to sheltering our children. I have heard it likened to a green house. When a seedling sprouts it is unable to survive in the climate outside until it is strong. The green house completely protects the seedling until it becomes prepared to go out into the garden. A green house is usually equipped with the ability to open the windows and ceilings, allowing in fresh air at the warmest part of the day. The time the plant is exposed to the elements (cold, rain and wind for example) can be slowly increased until the plant is determined to be hardy and then is ready to be planted in the garden and thrive. This process is carefully planned and controlled by the owner of the plants and green house.<br />
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I believe that our children are very much like those plants. If they are exposed to the evils of our world without any filter or protection when they are young and vulnerable, they will succumb to these influences and their purity will die. If, however, our children's purity is carefully guarded in their childhood, and then with careful thought and the help of their parents allowed to learn about the world around them and the evils therein, supported by conversation and teaching them go to the Word of God in order understand what God has to say about such things, our children can develop a world view that is godly and biblical and be prepared to refute the philosophies of this world and, with God's help, stand up under the temptations they will encounter. If parents are not careful about what their children are exposed to, and are not there to discuss what God's word has to say, they can compromise their children's purity and ability to process the world around them. In Deuteronomy 11:18 - 19 it instructs parents saying "You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul....You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up." It is the responsibility of parents to be with their children as much as possible, teaching them the truths of God's word and applying them in every circumstance.<br />
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But how can we, as young women and older women, be pure? What does that look like? Let's take a look first at what the Bible says about purity:<br />
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I Timothy 4:12 says "Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe." <br />
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2 Timothy 2:22 says "Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart"<br />
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Titus 1:15 says "To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled"<br />
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Titus 2:5 admonishes women "to be sensible, pure. workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."<br />
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There are several things to consider when applying the concept of purity to our lives as women. As seen in the scriptures above, it can involve our thoughts, speech, conduct, love and devotion to God. I believe it can also involve how we act and how we dress. It also involves what we expose ourselves to - garbage in, garbage out, so to speak.<br />
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First let's talk about our thoughts. It amazes me that our minds seem to never stop thinking, unless we are asleep, but even then our thoughts can effect our dreams! Until reading the book "Loving God with all Your Mind" by Elizabeth Elliot, I had never really thought about my thoughts and whether or not I could control them! She explained that in 2 Corinthians 10:5, Paul tells them that "we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ" and that in Philippians 4:8, he admonishes them by saying "Finally, my brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." It is so easy to allow our thoughts to wander! Sin originates in the mind. First we consider the temptation, then we think about giving in to it, pondering the sin, and then we act. The mind is a powerful thing, and can seem out of our control at times. But God can give us the ability to control our thoughts and turn away from impure thoughts. It is important that we do this, because impure thoughts can and will lead to impure speech and actions. If you wouldn't say or do the things you are thinking about in the presence of Jesus Christ, then you have no business thinking about it at anytime - remember your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit! When you find yourself having thoughts that are not pure, quickly ask the Lord to take away the thoughts, to purify your mind, and then purpose to think on something else that is acceptable before the Lord.<br />
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One part of purity of the mind is being careful what we expose ourselves to. Images and videos can stay in our minds permanently, coming back to haunt us when we least want them to. Lyrics from songs can play over and over in your mind, even though you thought you weren't listening to the lyrics. Would the images, videos, movies and songs you are exposing yourself to pass the test of Philippians 4:8? Oh, be careful little eyes and ears - garbage in, garbage out. If we feed our minds on the trash of this world, we can not expect our thoughts to be pure. And our thoughts are where our actions and speech originate from. So think twice about what you choose to expose yourself to, because you may never be able to get it out of your head.<br />
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Now let's consider our speech. Does your speech always reflect purity? Would someone you don't know well, but has heard you talk, consider your language and speech to be pure? Would your speech make them aware of your faith in Jesus Christ, or would the revelation that your are a Christian surprise them? There are many things that women participate in that can defile their speech - gossip, coarse joking, insults and snide remarks, sarcasm, flirting, and curses to name a few. I'd like to talk about a kind of blasphemy and curses that is often overlooked. <br />
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You probably don't think you curse or blaspheme, but let's take a closer look. Do you say "Oh my god"? That is so common in our culture that many Christians take our God's name in vain on a daily basis. What about using "OMG" in your texts and facebook status updates? What about "Gee", "Golly," "Jees" and "Oh my Gosh" (Webster's Dictionary says "<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 16px;">Origin of </span><em style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-weight: bold; line-height: 16px;">GOSH</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 16px;">. euphemism for God", Origin of Golly is euphemism for God,) </span>? There are more out there, but these are all derivatives of our precious Lord's name and can lead to true blasphemy. Are these words used in a way to make our speech beautiful? Pleasant? Or are they just substitutions for blasphemy? I consider them nicknames, and they are a stepping stone into true blasphemy. God does say in the Bible not to take His name in vane, but he never said we can't take our name in vane...if you must, say "man"! Let us not use our mouths to express the name of our precious Savior who died in our place in a careless way, and then use that same mouth to praise that name on Sunday morning! <br />
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"But I'd never say a curse" you say? Do you ever say "dang it", "dang nab it" "darn" "darn it"? Those are all substitutes for saying "damn". Did you know that "damn" is defined as a verb that is "God condemning a person to suffer eternal punishment in hell: "To be forever damned with Lucifer". The original phase is "God damn it," which you can hear on occasion, . Really? Should we as Christians say anything like that? Is there a need for it? These words are usually used in anger, a sin by the way. So instead of speaking out in anger and cursing someone of something to the depths of hell, we should be asking the Lord for grace to stand under the daily frustrations (which, but the way, He has ordained for you to endure in the process of becoming Christ-like!). What about "heck" "sam hill"? Those are referring to hell. Is there a need for a Christian to speak of hell on a regular basis? And then there's the all to common "What the..." This leaves the listener to fill in the blank, and even godly individuals have probably heard the unsavory endings to this enough that their minds will fill in the blank, corrupting their minds in that moment, almost without their ever having time to stop the thought from happening. Ephesians 4:29 says "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear." Let that verse be the filter that all your speech passes through before you utter it. God is interested in our speech, if you don't believe me, check out <a href="http://www.bukisa.com/articles/256872_bible-verses-about-our-speech-communicating-with-wisdom" target="_blank">this list </a>of verses about our speech!<br />
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What about our conduct? We need to think twice about the things we agree to be involved in. For example, take dancing. If you have made a commitment to remain pure until your wedding day, saving that first kiss for your husband, what about physical contact? I must say that slow dancing, close bodily contact, is giving part of yourself away before the alter. Would your future husband want you to be holding hands with, or holding your body against, another man? If you knew who your future husband was, and he was watching you dance with someone else, would you feel uncomfortable? What about the feelings and thoughts you are probably causing in the young man you are dancing with? Would you feel comfortable dancing with that young man if his fiance was standing there? What about participating in that conduct in front of your parents? Your pastor? Your Savior? What about the movies you see? The restaurants/bars you frequent. What about smoking, drinking or getting tattoos? Consider carefully if you would do that if Christ were by your side, and if you wouldn't, then you shouldn't do it - He's in your heart, seeing everything you do. Our lives should be a reflection of our faith in Christ. We are to be growing Christ-like. If Jesus wouldn't do what you are doing, should you be doing it?<br />
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The last things I want to talk about is how we, as women, choose to dress. This is a very sticky subject, and I may step on some toes here. I do not want to give you a list of what is modest and pure the wear, but to address the heart of the matter. Men are visually oriented, and they were created to appreciate a woman's figure and to be attracted physically to their wife in a sensual, visual way. Women are emotionally and physically oriented - we find fulfillment in our relationship with our husband (future husbands) through physical touch and emotional connection. We women need to be very careful in how we dress. Men can easily be tempted by the sight of a women who has dressed provocatively. I know that it can feel good to have a man appreciate our beauty, but we should not be seeking that by dressing in a way to draw attention to our bodies. I do not mean that you have to dress in a gunny sack, but you should not be dressing in such a way as to cause your brothers in Christ to stumble. Let me be frank with you - showing your thighs or cleavage, or wearing clothes that reveal the curves of your body is defrauding to your brothers in Christ. When you dress, check yourself in the mirror. Bend over, sit in a chair. Does your clothing draw attention to certain parts of your body? Make sure that your womanly features are carefully hidden. Save them for your husband! You can dress femininely without being immodest. If you are unsure, ask your father if he approves of your choice of clothing? Your brothers? Your pastor? Would you want your daughter to dress in that manner? What about your future husband - would you want him to be exposed to another woman wearing what you are wearing? Let your true beauty be that of your inward self. Let others be attracted to your personality and wit. Let your clothes be outward adornment, adding to that inner beauty. <br />
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You might be saying in your heart that I am being a legalist - don't drink, don't dance....But it is a matter of the heart that I am talking about. Are you living to please yourself or to please your Savior? If you truly love your Lord, then you will plan your life around doing things that please Him and reflect His image in your life. Are you living your life as a sacrifice of holiness to the one who lived a sinless life yet hung on a cross, dying a gruesome death in your place, or are you trampling on His sacrifice by claiming to be a Christian yet living as though you are not. Romans 12:2 says "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." Your conduct does reflect on God if you claim Him. But most importantly, your conduct reflects your love for Him, :<br />
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What about young women who have not been sheltered and bear the scares of exposure to the evils of our world? What then? Then start today. Ask the Lord to purify your mind of the memories and images you have that are defiled. Purpose to live a life of holiness, with God's help and grace. Do not dwell on where you have been, holding onto bitterness or making excuses. God is writing the story of your life, and He will use all of your life to be a testimony of His grace. He has given you a garment of righteousness in exchange for your garment of defilement. Claim this every time you are tempted to consider yourself less that your sisters in Christ. We are all sinful, we all sin. But the good news is that forgiveness is available through Christ's shed blood, all we need to do it ask. And He doesn't only forgive, He forgets, and so must we. Use your experiences to show God's amazing grace in your life, but don't let them drag you down, make you feel defiled or hinder your serving your Lord in purity and truth today. <br />
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So be careful to be pure, be careful of what you allow into your life so you can be a fragrance of purity in a world of defilement.<br />
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All My Love,<br />
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MomRuth Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00297156024421986096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949460559595885524.post-81421649234957939702012-01-07T14:34:00.000-08:002012-07-10T12:57:16.163-07:00Trusting God - Dealing with Fear and Worry<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">My Daughters,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Trusting God may be one of the most important thing to do as a Christian. It begins when you trust Him for your salvation. Trust is tied to belief - if you don't believe someone, you don't trust them. Trust is like the second step we take as baby Christians. First we believe that the Bible is true and the it is the Word of God, and then we trust that God will fulfill His promise to save us if we confess our sins and believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that He died to pay for our sins. That is the first step of faith/trust that we take as a new believer. But that is not the only step of faith that we need to take.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Once we have taken those first steps of faith and trust, we need to keep on walking by faith and trusting in God's promises! Many people "pray the prayer" and figure they have their ticket to heaven and they are good to go - back to living life the way they want to and only thinking about or praying to God when they get into a situation they can't fix - like God is some kind of first aid kit, or supernatural fix-all. But that is just not how it works. I believe that there will be many who come before God as they enter eternity and find that their "ticket" is not valid! Heaven is not a carnival and God is not a ticket taker - He is our loving creator and wants to have a vital relationship with us - one based on daily trust and faith.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But what does trust and faith have to do with fear and worry? EVERYTHING!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I have said on more than one occasion that where there is faith, there is the absence of fear, and where there is fear, there is the absence of faith - it's a sliding scale - as fear grows, faith fails...as faith grows, fear flees! I have learned this the hard way - there have been time when I was living in fear, debilitating fear, but God was faithful to me and taught me that I needed to believe in His promises and trust Him for everything. I still battle this at times, but I try to turn fearful thoughts into prayers for increased trust and faith in God's loving sovereignty.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But you shouldn't take my word for it - let's see what God says in His word about worry and fear (fear leads to worry - when we worry, we are fearful - they go hand in hand). We will also see what the Bible has to say about trusting in God and believing His promises.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Here is a sampling of verses I found that talk about fear - the majority of verses that came up on my search talked about fearing the Lord, or not fearing Him and the blessings or consequences of that, so I found it interesting what this first verse says about who/what you should fear!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">*Deut 6:13 You shall fear only the LORD your God; and you shall worship Him and swear by His name.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Deut 31:8 The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Psalm 34:4 I sought the LORD, and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Psalm 46:1-3 1 God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">3 Though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Wow - I think I'd be tending to being fearful if all that was going on!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Prov 29:25 The fear of man brings a snare, But he who trusts in the LORD will be exalted.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Isaiah 41:13 For I am the LORD your God, who upholds your right hand, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Who says to you, ‘Do not fear, I will help you.’</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Luke 12: 6-7 Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. 7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">After reading all those verses, it's very clear that God does not want us to be fearful of anything - except that we are to fear Him. Let me clarify what is meant to "Fear the Lord." This does not mean that we live in fear of what God will do to us, like He's some cosmic bad guy out to make our lives miserable. This type of fear is more like standing in awe of Him - believing that He is omnipotent, sovereign, and omnipresent. Those are big words that mean that He knows everything that has, is and will happen, that He is in control of everything and that He is present everywhere, all the time. If you take time to think about all the God is and all the He does, and then think that God loves you personally and that He is intimately involved in your life even to the point of caring about the small details and daily struggles you are dealing with, it creates a sense of overwhelming appreciation, and a sense that God is even better, bigger and grander than our human mind can comprehend. Kind of like the little boy on the trike in the movie "The Incredibles", where he seems to always be waiting around for "something amazing" to happen, and then we see what God has done or is doing and our reaction is, just like that little boy, "That was TOTALLY awesome."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Now let's take a look at what Jesus said about worry - and I think worry is definitely tied to fear - when we fear something, we begin to worry about it, right? Just like Faith leads to Trust, Fear leads to Worry!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Matt 6:30-32 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 31 Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ 32 For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Luke 12:22-31 And He said to His disciples, “For this reason I say to you, do not worry about your life, as to what you will eat; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. 24 Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds! 25 And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span? 26 If then you cannot do even a very little thing, why do you worry about other matters? 27 Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 28 But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you? You men of little faith! 29 And do not seek what you will eat and what you will drink, and do not keep worrying. 30 For all these things the nations of the world eagerly seek; but your Father knows that you need these things. 31 But seek His kingdom, and these things will be added to you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Clearly we can see from these two passages that God is aware of our needs and that He will provide for our needs, and that we are not to worry about them at all. Now please note, this is talking about our NEEDS, not our wants. God promises to meet our needs of clothing and food. Most of us are expecting God to meet our wants, things we don't really need, but make our life easier, more pleasant. God may provide for our wants, but He only promises to meet our needs! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The Bible teaches us over and over that God is our provider - read some of the stories about the never-ending flour and oil for the widow, shoes that don't wear out as well as manna and birds for the Israelites to eat while they were in the wilderness, Jesus feeding thousands at a time, and so many other stories of God's amazing providence for His people! God still provides for His people - it might not be an overabundance, but you will have what you need when you need it. Worrying accomplishes nothing. Worrying can cause problems though - stress to our minds and bodies - high blood pressure, ulcers, depression, psychological disorders and more can be the result of worrying over things that we have no control over! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Another less obvious result of worrying about the future is the lack of thankfulness! When we are consumed with worry about how we are going to get what we perceive we need, we fail to appreciate what we have already received! One cure for worry is to take time to count your blessings when you find yourself worrying about anything in your life. Especially take time to remember times when God has met your needs in the past and thanking Him for His providence. If you are constantly looking for things to be thankful for, you will have not time or opportunity to worry about what you are missing! It can also be helpful to take time to look up and memorize passages of scripture, like those above, that tell of God's promises, storing them up in your heart and mind!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So we can see from scripture that we are not to be fearful or worry about anything. But can we do this on our own? Of course not! What do we need in order to avoid being fearful or worrying? We need to believe God, ask Him to supply our needs and trust Him to do it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Let's take a little time to see what the Bible says about trusting in God:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Psalm 9:10 And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, For You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Psalm 32:10 Many are the sorrows of the wicked, But he who trusts in the LORD, lovingkindness shall surround him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Psalm 37:5 Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Psalm 56:3 - 4 When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. 4 In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid. What can mere man do to me?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Psalm 62:8 Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Psalm 91:1 - 3 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">2 I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust!” </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">3 For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper and from the deadly pestilence.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Psalm 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">(That is my personal favorite!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Proverbs 29:25 The fear of man brings a snare, But he who trusts in the LORD will be exalted.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Isaiah 26:3 The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Jeremiah 17:7 Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD And whose trust is the LORD.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Daniel 3:28 Nebuchadnezzar responded and said, “Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego, who has sent His angel and delivered His servants who put their trust in Him, violating the king’s command, and yielded up their bodies so as not to serve or worship any god except their own God.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Daniel 6:23 Then the king was very pleased and gave orders for Daniel to be taken up out of the den. So Daniel was taken up out of the den and no injury whatever was found on him, because he had trusted in his God.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Phil 1:12 - 14 Now I want you to know, brethren, that my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel, 13 so that my imprisonment in the cause of Christ has become well known throughout the whole praetorian guard and to everyone else, 14 and that most of the brethren, trusting in the Lord because of my imprisonment, have far more courage to speak the word of God without fear.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Did you notice that many times men trusted in God even when imprisoned and facing probable death!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">That is a lot said about trusting in God - and there were many others I didn't include! I believe that when God talks a lot about something in the Bible, it is very important to Him! Trusting in God is not something that comes naturally - it is learned! It is based on a foundation of faith in God - believing that He is who He says He is, and that the Bible is His word, and that He will do what He says He will do. Once you have you faith in God, you have the foundation necessary to develop trust.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I refer to developing trust because that's just how it works, unless God miraculously instills trust in your heart! When we are in a relationship with another person, we will not share our deepest needs, biggest fears or personal struggles with that person - we will need to get to know them better. We build up trust in someone through the events in life - are they trustworthy? Do they keep your confidence or do they blab what you have told them to everyone? When you ask them to do something, do they follow through or forget that they promised to help you? When they say they are going to give you something, do they follow through? The same is true of our relationship with God, except that we can see His track record through scripture!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The first thing to begin to build trust in God is to read His word, paying attention to how He cared for His people and provided for them! Watching how He always fulfilled His promises and always did what He said He would do! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The next way to build trust is God is to watch for His hand in the events in your life - even the little ones, even in things that you didn't ask Him for! God knows our needs and loves to provide for them even when we don't realize we need them until they are provided. For example, recently I had some shopping to do, but being over 6 months pregnant and 48 years old, I was getting tired and knew that I was limited in what I could accomplish that day. I didn't stop and think about this, but noticed that day that I always got parking places very close to the doors of the stores I had to go in, and that the lines I got in for checking out were far shorter than any others in the store! God knew what I needed that day, and provided for me even though I didn't even think to ask for it! If we are looking for how God provides for our needs throughout the day, we will begin to grow in our trust, and then when the big things happen in life that can shake us to our core, we can trust God even then!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">We also build our trust in God by actively placing out trust in Him. Trusting in God and not being fearful or worrying is a choice. Our natural, sinful nature will always have a knee-jerk reaction to trials of becoming fearful and worrying about anything and everything. But we need to develop a habit of making the choice to place our trust in God and keeping it there. Sometimes, when things are especially difficult, I have found myself stating for myself what I believe - "God is Good, in everything and in every way!"** "God loves me and cares for me and is doing this for my good and His glory." "I WILL TRUST HIM" In times like that I try to remember what Job said after everything was taken from him, and nearly all his family was killed - "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him" (KJV). Our hearts will follow our minds. Even when you don't feel like God is doing this for your good, you must place your trust in Him and state what you know to be true!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I also want to share with you the blessing of placing your trust in God, in any situations - peace. God grants us peace when we place our trust in Him. This peace can be an inner peace even in the midst of terrible suffering and turmoil. Here are some of God's promises about His peace that He gives to His children:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">John 16:33 These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">And here's my favorite verse to remind me of what to do when I feel worry and fear creeping into my heart and mind, I try to quote these verses and place in His hands the concerns facing me:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Philippians 4:6 - 7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Now that's a promise you can hold onto - I have experienced this peace. When our Esther was just 3 months old, we had to hand her over to the nurse to take her in to have open heart surgery. I had prayed and prayed that God would keep Esther safe, but I had also prayed that God's perfect will would be done. Handing her over was one of the most difficult things I have ever done as a mother. I cried hard for a little while, and then my husband and I went to the waiting room. I laid down on a couch and fell asleep! God's perfect peace had come over me and enabled me to sleep! I had hardly slept the night before, but I slept soundly for over an hour. Only God can do something like that! Soon we were back with Esther and she had started a nearly miraculous recovery from her surgery and has never had any heart issues since that time. But even if God had willed things to turn out differently, I know that He would have been there for me and would have been granting me peace as long as I was holding tight to the promises of God.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Have you ever noticed how many New Testament letters start or end with the phrase " Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ." some variation of that? Nearly all of them! Sounds like having God's peace is something they valued - and well they should as they were experiencing some serious persecution! But imprisonment and probably death could not rob those early Christians of the peace that God gave them - and there's nothing in this world that can rob you of God's peace unless you allow it to happen by letting fear and worry get a stronghold in your heart and mind! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Lastly, I want to share with you something I have learned the hard way. God gives grace for us in every situation He ordains in our lives, but He doesn't give grace for the "What Ifs". When we take on tomorrow's worries, we are on our own. Matthew 6:34 says “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." We rob our today's of joy by taking on tomorrow's worries. And we go there without the grace God would/will give if/when the "what if" you are worrying about comes about. When you find yourself worrying about the "what ifs", ask the Lord to give you a peace about tomorrow, and then "take every thought captive" (II Cor 10:5). When your tomorrow's come and they bring those things we are tempted to worry about tomorrow, you will be given the grace to endure, and a peace the passes understanding, but you will not be given those things ahead of time by worrying.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">So whenever you find yourself being fearful or worrying about anything, stop and pray and place whatever it is that is bothering you in God's hands and watch to see God move in your life to grant you peace, provide for your needs and fulfill His promises in your life!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">All my Love,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Mom</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">* I have used BibleGateway.com to do my scripture searches, and unless otherwise noted, all scripture is quoted in New American Standard version</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">**my friend, Debby Gustafson's favorite saying, even as she was dying from cancer</span>Ruth Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00297156024421986096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949460559595885524.post-17155600143288753402011-12-14T21:56:00.000-08:002013-10-05T07:05:55.070-07:00Friendships - How to be a Friend, How to Choose a Friendship<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dear Daughters,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Friendships are just a natural part of life, right? Everyone has friends, right? Everyone has a "best friend", right? No, not necessarily! Friendships do not develop naturally - we are all selfish by our human nature so we tend to seek a friendship to meet our needs, and that is not a good basis for a friendship. Friendships often spring out of the natural situation of activities that we do with other people, but those are not necessarily friendship that are good for us. So how can we develop friendships that are beneficial to us and glorify God, and who should we be friends with? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">First, let's talk about friendship in general. But what, exactly, is a friendship? One definition I found is "<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 16px;">a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard" I think that is a good place to start. But friendships come in all shapes and sizes! </span>There are several levels of friendships - acquaintances, casual friendships, intimate friendships and spiritual mentoring friendships. For simplicity's sake, I'm going to put friendships in to 4 categories - Acquaintances, Casual, Intimate, Mentor. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Acquaintance Friendships are those who you know because you are involved in similar activities - church, sports, classes, neighbors or possibly close friends of your family members or friends. You know them by name, and you may have talked with them a few times, but you are not connected to them in a close way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Casual Friendships are those you know better than acquaintances, and you might even have their phone number on your address book on your phone. You probably talk with them regularly, but might hesitate to share intimate things with them. This type of friendship can come and go depending on your stage in life, or your activities. If you no longer do the activity that you share with that person, the friendship might fade away, but yet if you run across them later you enjoy catching up with them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Intimate Friendships are those where you are so close that you can share things with them that you would not share with anyone unless you have a high level of trust in them - and they feel the same way about you! These are the friends whom you choose to spend time with whenever you can, and they are the first people you try to make contact with when something good or difficult happens to you. These friendships tend to last a long time - even if the common activity that brought you together is no longer part of your friendship. These are usually lifetime friendships. Even if you get busy and forget to call them, when something big happens, they are still the first person you call!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Mentor Friendships are a close relationship with someone who is teaching and helping you through the stages of your life, or it might be that you are teaching and helping someone. Usually this is a relationship between someone older and someone younger in physical age, but it might be that the two are older and younger spiritually speaking. This friendship may be short term, or long term, depending on your situation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Before I go any further, let's see what the Bible says about friendships! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In Job there are a lot of interesting interactions between Job and his friends. They gave him mostly bad advice! He was discouraged by his friendships. He says "<span style="background-color: white;">“I am a joke to my </span><span style="background-color: white;">friend</span><span style="background-color: white;">s, the one who called on God and He answered him; The just and blameless man is a joke." And also "</span><span style="background-color: white;">“My </span><span style="background-color: white;">friend</span><span style="background-color: white;">s are my scoffers; My eye weeps to God." God even takes Job's friends to task, saying, "</span><span style="background-color: white;">“My wrath is kindled against you and against your two </span><span style="background-color: white;">friend</span><span style="background-color: white;">s, because you have not spoken of Me what is right as My servant Job has." </span><span style="background-color: white;">Friendships can be a source of encouragement or discouragement! I found it very interesting, and this was new to me, that it says in Job 42:10 - "</span><span style="background-color: white;">The LORD restored the fortunes of Job <i>when he prayed for his </i></span><span style="background-color: white;"><i>friend</i></span><span style="background-color: white;"><i>s</i>, and the LORD increased all that Job had twofold." </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Proverbs has a lot to say about friendship - in Proverbs 17:17 it says "</span><span style="background-color: white;">A </span><span style="background-color: white;">friend</span><span style="background-color: white;"> loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity" and in 18:24, "</span><span style="background-color: white;">A man of too many </span><span style="background-color: white;">friend</span><span style="background-color: white;">s comes to ruin, but there is a </span><span style="background-color: white;">friend</span><span style="background-color: white;"> who sticks closer than a brother" Many believe that this friend who sticks closer than a brother is referring to Jesus! It also says that "</span><span style="background-color: white;">Faithful are the wounds of a </span><span style="background-color: white;">friend". In Proverbs 13:20 it says "</span><span style="background-color: white;">He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the </span><span style="background-color: white;">companion</span><span style="background-color: white;"> of fools will suffer harm"</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Ecclesiastes has a very profound comment about friends and companions - "<span style="background-color: white;">Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. </span><span style="background-color: white;">For if </span><span style="background-color: white;">either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not </span><span style="background-color: white;">another to lift him up."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Jesus talks about friends a lot, and much of it is not favorable - "</span><span style="background-color: white;">But you will be betrayed even by parents and brothers and relatives and </span><span style="background-color: white;">friend</span><span style="background-color: white;">s, and they will put some of you to death" but He also says much about the value of true friendship - "</span><span style="background-color: white;">Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his </span><span style="background-color: white;">friend</span><span style="background-color: white;">s" and "</span><span style="background-color: white;">You are My </span><span style="background-color: white;">friend</span><span style="background-color: white;">s if you do what I command you", and "</span><span style="background-color: white;">No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you </span><span style="background-color: white;">friend</span><span style="background-color: white;">s, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you".</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">James says that Abraham was a friend of God because he believed what God was telling Him. He also states that "</span><span style="background-color: white;">You adulteresses, do you not know that </span><span style="background-color: white;">friend</span><span style="background-color: white;">ship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a </span><span style="background-color: white;">friend</span><span style="background-color: white;"> of the world makes himself an enemy of God."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">But all that doesn't really tell us much about the ins and outs of friendships, but it does tell us that God created friendship for the benefit of humans, and that He values friendship highly. Friendships can be something that really adds to our life, or it can cause much heartache. Friends can lift us up and inspire us to live a better life, or draw us down into the depths of depravity! Much of my life I have been trying to make friends and maintain friendships, with many successes, but many failures as well. Some of my greatest pain has come from friendships that have gone bad, but many of my friendships have given me the strength to keep on going, and others have inspired me to seek the Lord and excel in my relationship with Him. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">What I really want to share with you today is what I have learned about friendships - how to be a friend, who you should seek to have as friends, and who you should avoid having friendships with. There are also other things I will share along the way.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Acquaintances</b>, in general, are friendships that we don't have a lot of control over. These friendships are developed when we are participating in our community. But we can be careful about what activities we become involved in, carefully thinking about the kind of people we might encounter and the possible influence on your life, either for good or for bad! I'm not saying you should never rub shoulders with unbelievers, because we are called to be light in the darkness! But if the majority of our contacts outside our home are with unbelievers, this could have a detrimental influence in our lives. God brings people into our lives for our good and His glory - and their good as well. So think about the acquaintances in your life and your interaction with them - are you a light in their darkness? Does your interaction with them allow them to glimpse Jesus? Do your actions and words make it known that you are a committed follower of Christ? Do you ask the Holy Spirit to use you in the lives of your acquaintances? You really should. And pray that He would lead you so that you might do His will, not your own. When God puts it on your heart to share your faith with another, pray and then proceed! Only God saves, but He often uses imperfect human being to do His work here on earth, and don't you want to be used of Him?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Casual Friendships</b> are those who you are closer to than an acquaintance, and you should take care who of you acquaintances become your casual friendships. Casual friendships can be a great way to invest in the life of a non-believer, sharing your love for the Lord in a deeper way. But casual friendships can also work the other way - the allurement of the world and wrong priorities and thoughts can work their way into your heart and dampen your love for Christ, causing you to lose sight of His will for you each day. This is especially true for young women. Worldly girls tend to be preoccupied with things of this world - clothes, worldly music, boyfriends and immoral behavior like drinking, smoking and doing drugs. There are even many young women who claim to be Christians, yet they are constantly thinking about boys, clothes and money. A young woman who want to be a woman after God's own heart should have her mind stayed on Christ and seeking to become a mature Christian before she ever thinks about marriage - and "thinking about boys" has nothing to do with marriage, and can lead young women to behaving in a way that is certainly not being a light in the darkness. So don't let you friends chose you, you must carefully chose who you spend time with, so that you can keep your focus on serving Christ in the lives of your friends, and not be pulled down by spending too much time with girls that are worldly minded. But that doesn't mean that you can't have a friend or two whom have purposed to be a friend in order to inspire them to live for Christ, but be very careful that you are strong in the Lord and going in with God's leading. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Intimate Friendships</b> are those that last. These are often referred to a bosom friends. I take that as meaning that you are so knit together that it would tear your heart to lose this friendship. These friendships take time and purpose to develop, especially for young people who are homeschooled, as the time and opportunity to friendships outside your family can be very limited. But, speaking of family, have you ever considered that the best resource for a lifetime, intimate friendship is your family? Your siblings have been raised the way you have, and they are available almost 24/7! Don't discredit your siblings when you think about intimate friendship. Your sisters and brothers will always be your sisters and brothers, but the close friends of you childhood may no longer be in your life when you are a young lady, and the close friends of your youth may no longer be bosom friends when you are an adult! The life we lead, the stages we go through, can change so much and you will always find that your closest friends are those with whom you share the most in common in your beliefs, you current stage of life and your style of living. That doesn't mean that you can only have close friends who are very similar to you, but it is much easier to share your happiness, difficulties and dreams with those who are in similar situations as you are. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Intimate friendships are so important in life. As Ecclesiastes pointed out, having a friend by your side (or being beside your friend) through tough times give us the strength to carry on, and God uses these friendships in our lives to meet our needs. We must turn to our Heavenly Father first, but He has put your close friends in your life for a purpose, for both you and your friend! These friendships must be cultivated, and they should be with like-minded Christian girls and women. They don't have to be your age (some of my closest friends are nearly half my age), but they should be traveling the same spiritual road as you, so that you can both give and get encouragement to stay true to Jesus. But you might ask, how can I cultivate this kind of friendship? It takes purpose - get to know them, ask them questions about what they like, find out what their hobbies are, share with them your spiritual journey. Being a friend takes putting the other person first. Pray for them, ask them how you can pray for them. When you are planning something, include them in the plans. Try to invite them to events that you are attending. Invite them to your home. Make gifts for them, or send them little notes saying that you are praying for them. Find out when their birthday is and do something special for them. Don't look to your friends for what you can get from them, look to see how you can invest in that person's life to encourage them in all they do. Be their cheerleader! Rejoice when they are rejoicing, comfort them when they are hurting, share life with them and take time to call them just to talk! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Spiritual Friendships</b> are those special friendships where you have agreed with that person to share your spiritual journey intimately with them, and they with you. This type of friendship is difficult to develop, and sometimes it's hard to find the right friend to fill this spot in your life. This might not even be something that lasts a lifetime, but it can. Spiritual friendships are purposeful - they are a commitment between two close friends to pray for each other, share struggles and create goals for spiritual growth and ministering to our families. This requires a deep trust. Are you trustworthy? Are you good at keeping a secret? Can your friend trust you because they know that when they share something personal with you, you keep it between the two of you and the Lord? You need to be trustworthy in order to develop and friendship like this, so if this is an area you need to work on, take it to the Lord and ask Him to help you develop this character trait. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have a question for you - when you tell someone you will pray for them, do you? Do you keep a prayer list so that you can remember to pray for those you have committed to praying for? If not, start today. If you are already doing this, then I suggest you take it one step further and begin to journal your prayers. These two steps are great ways to prepare to have an intimate spiritual friendship when the Lord brings it into your life. Pray for this kind of friendship, and that the Lord would lead you to the right person.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I want to encourage you to work at your friendships. Take time and energy to invest in the lives of those friends who the Lord has brought into you life, who share your goals and spiritual walk. Look for ways you can BE a friend to others, how you can minister to your friends and acquaintances. Never "read between the lines" with friends. Take them at their word. Be ready to forgive, and slow to take offence. Be careful to choose wisely those you spend your time with. Pray for godly friendships, and that the Lord will teach you to be a godly friend. Defend your friends when anyone says something against them, and never say anything about your friends unless it is positive and encouraging. And invest in the friendships God has placed in your home - your brothers and sisters. You'll never regret it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lastly, I want to point out that the friendships that you are involved in and developing in your youth are an excellent tool to equipping you to be a loving wife. The best marriages are based on an intimate friendship! I am not recommending that you foster intimate friendship with boys or men outside your family, not at all. But when God brings that special someone into your life, the experiences you have had with your friends and siblings, as well as the developing of the skills of being a true friend will have prepared you to be your husband's best friend, confidant, help-meet and cheerleader!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">All My Love,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Mom</span>Ruth Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00297156024421986096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949460559595885524.post-50752808330223603362011-07-27T07:01:00.000-07:002012-07-10T12:52:02.029-07:00Preparing for Parenthood<span style="font-family: inherit;">My Daughters,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">You are a blessing. Your sisters and brothers are blessings. Your future children will be blessings. God gave you as a blessing. I looked up the definition of the word blessing and it said "Gift from God". </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Psalm 128: 2 - 4 says "Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord." and Psalm 127: 3 says "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">You are a gift from God to your parents and family, a reward even. And a gift or reward is something we all like to receive, right? So everyone should want to receive children from God, right? All mothers should love their children, right? All children should love their siblings, right?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The answer to those questions is yes, they should, but that is not always the case. In Titus 2 we learned that women need to be taught by the older women how to love their husbands, but that isn't all - it also says "that they (older women) are to admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children," So young women need to learn how to love their children as well, it does not come naturally. Oh yes, when a woman carries a baby for 9 months and then finally holds in her arms that precious baby, a natural biological love is there....but will that love carry her through the terrible twos, will it enable her to discipline her child in love when it is easier to give in to their tantrums, will it remain strong through the difficult years? Maybe. I have heard otherwise many times...I have overheard mothers say "I can't wait for them to go back to school so I can have my life back", or "I'm taking 3 months maternity leave and then I'm going back to work," or "I can't wait for my kids to graduate from high school so I can do what I want to do" and I've even heard mothers speak to their children in public saying things like "you are such a brat" and "why do you always embarrass me?" And the more obvious things like child abuse, abortion, and other great sins against children. Women do need to be taught how to truly love their children.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So why do so many women/families fail to love their children? Many families are not believers in the God of the Bible so they do not see children as a blessing from God. Many families who go to church today do not believe that the Bible is relevant for today, so the do not see babies/children as blessings either. And some, while knowing the children are a blessing, fail to act as though their children or siblings are blessings from God in the normal living from day to day. I want to share my heart with you about how to love children...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">As I have shown in the passages above, God tells us that children are a blessing, a reward, and a heritage. Taking that to heart is the first step in loving children. Having a mind and heart that sees that children as a creation of God is a great starting point. They are not a chance happening, or even worse an "accident" as many parents will call their children who were a surprise to them. Knowing that your siblings and your children were given as gifts from God will help you to have a deep love for them. Understanding that children are not accidents or inconveniences will cause you to be prepared to take parenting seriously and to even look forward to them!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So the first step in learning to love your children is to see them as what they are - blessings straight from the hand of God. The second step is to understand that our children are not ours, they are God's, and they are only entrusted to us for a time. As parents you are admonished by God to train them and discipline them and teach them. Deuteronomy 6: 4 - 7 tells us what the most important thing parents should do for their children: "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is One! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." The most important job parents have is first to love God, and secondly to teach His word to them in all they do. And this requires that you are with them as you walk, sit, eat, go to bed, rise in the morning! And that you take those times to share with them who God is and how much He loves them and what He wants them to do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Did you notice the first part of that passage? The first command? "You shall love the Lord your God..." The best preparation for parenthood is loving God with all that you are, reading His word and learning it by heart so that in turn you will be able to apply it in the everyday things in life. When you love God, and know His word, that will prepare your heart to love you children when God brings them into your life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But there's more that you can do to prepare to love your children! You can learn to love your siblings, especially those younger than you! Seeing your siblings as blessings will cause you to see them in a different light. God has placed each of your siblings in your life for a purpose, and every time you are around them you have the opportunity to learn to love them in action and in word, even when they seem unlovable or they are driving you crazy. Siblings tend to be either your best friend or your worse nightmare (and sometimes the same person can be both at different times!)....but in both cases they are in your life to teach you to love unconditionally! To help them when they need help, to teach them when they don't understand, to comfort them when they are hurting and to be their champion and encourage them when they are down and out. Children are not always lovable, but God doesn't say to love people when they are lovable, but to love without reservation and unconditionally, as He has loved you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Being a parent is a huge responsibility. How you parent your children can and will greatly effect how they will parent their children and how they relate to other people and also how they view God. God has placed each child in the home and given the parents the responsibility to teach and admonish them and show them the love of God. In all this world, only the souls of people are eternal. All of this world will pass away someday, but our souls are eternal. So put the people in your life first before your possessions, hobbies and sports. Invest in the things that have eternal value. Invest yourself in your family. Time is a lot like money - you are given only so much and you choose how you "spend" it. You can spend it on things that please you and make you happy, or you can spend it on developing deep and lasting relationships with your family and those who God has brought into your life. You make choices everyday on how you "invest" your time and how you "spend" you time...so be wise in the choices you make and use this time to prepare to be a loving mother to the children God will bless you with!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">All My Love,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Mom</span>Ruth Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00297156024421986096noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949460559595885524.post-89920344475793601222011-07-18T08:21:00.000-07:002012-07-10T12:52:54.569-07:00Learning to Love<span style="font-family: inherit;">My Daughters,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We all love fairy tales...a young innocent girl pines away in her castle for her true love, Prince Charming, to rescue her from her dull life. Prince Charming arrives on his trusty steed and whisks the young girl off her feet, they have their "true love's first kiss" and they ride off into the sunset, right? In some of the fairy tales, they get married, in some you assume they do. But it's usually the basic boy meets girl, they fall in love and live happily ever after. And you have probably thought about your prince charming and played pretend about getting married and living happily ever after, but when you look around at the lives of people you know, those who live happily ever after without a care in the world are few and far between (and possibly extinct, right?).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The love portrayed in fairy tales is just that, a fairy tale. It doesn't exist, and it shouldn't exist, in our real world. Occasionally you will hear of couple who "fell in love at first sight", but that is a fallacy...they may form a desire at first sight, but there is no possible way to develop a love that lasts a lifetime based on first impressions. There might be something that makes you think "he may be the one", but it is definitely not love. You may even be very impressed by someone's appearance or demeanor to the point of wanting to know that person more, but that is not love either. Many people confuse desire for love. Looking at another person and liking what you see, is not love, it is desire. Just like you might see a candy that looks delicious, and it's appearance makes you desire to taste it...but until you bite into it you have no idea what's inside. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">One time I was travelling and stopped by a little coffee shop and purchased some delicious looking chocolates. They were expensive, but they looked so scrumptious that I just could not resist...they were worth the price, at least I believed they were worth the effort to find out. I was in a hurry, so I took them with me to the car to eat while I was on the ferry. Once I was settled and parked on the ferry, I opened the package and took out one of the chocolates...man it looked good! I took a little nibble and it was as delicious as it looked - smooth creamy chocolate that melts in you mouth as smooth as silk...so I took a bite that went all the way to the middle...YUCK! The middle tasted like mold! How disgusting! I have never tasted anything so vile when expecting something so delicious!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">People can be like that chocolate. You can only see what's on the outside. Even when you spend lots of time with other people! Unless you live with that person you probably won't see the real deal. Most people put their best face forward, especially when they are not at home. You might think you know someone, but until you spend a lot of time with them, and especially spend time with them in their home and with their family, you probably know only what they want you to know about them! They may look like wonderful chocolate, but you have no idea if they are harboring something disgusting inside.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">So how in the world can you ever find a true Prince Charming? You don't. Wait on the Lord, seek His face and find your all in Him. Look to Him to fill all your needs and learn to love others the way Christ loves us. In God's perfect timing, He will bring "The One" He has chosen for you into your life. But that is for another letter - there's so much more to say about that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">This letter is about love. The kind of love that takes work. The kind of love that lasts a lifetime. The kinds of love that will continue even after you have found something unlovable in the object of your love. The love I want to share with you today is not a feeling (but it can result in strong feelings), but a choice. It's a commitment to love another person regardless of what they can do for you. This is called Agape love, and it is a love that is unconditional. This is the kind of love that Jesus has for us. He loved us while we were yet sinners and died for us even before we loved Him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">This kind of love is what it takes to make a marriage work. A total, 100% commitment to loving your spouse no matter what they have done to earn your love, or what they have done to earn your wrath. But how can you have this love? How can you learn to love in this way?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">God is the only one who can enable you to love in this manner. He has placed you in your family for a purpose - to learn to love unconditionally. Family is forever...friends may come and friends may go, but your mother and father will always be your mother and father, and your sisters and brothers will always be your sisters and brothers. Living with your family, day in and day out, will give you ample opportunities to choose to love others even when they are unlovable. I know this is true in our family! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">What does this kind of love look like in a family? This is the kind of love that will do things for others. This kind of love will mean going beyond what is required of you. If you see that your sister or brother has left his shoes out on the lawn and it is beginning to rain, you will go out there and grab the shoes and put them away for your sibling...and not even tell them about it. This kind of love will cause you to think "I should make some popcorn today because my sister loves popcorn and that would make her happy". Agape love puts the other person first, regardless of their worthiness to receive this love. Remember, God loved us while we were most unlovable - before we accepted His gift of salvation, while we were still living a life of selfishness and breaking His laws and hating Him. Agape love is choosing to love someone and committing yourself to loving that person no matter what.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But, you may ask, what does Agape love have to do with marriage - aren't married couples already "in love"? Isn't the love already mutual? It might be, but in any marriage there will come a time when your spouse will not meet your expectations, or he might even do something really terrible. We are all sinners, saved by God's grace. We don't stop sinning the moment we become a child of God. But we have forgiveness through Christ's blood. But sometimes our sins, and the sins of others, can hurt those we love. Sometimes we don't even realize that we have hurt those we love. And many times, the sins of those we love hurt us. But that does not give us a right to withhold our love for them. If you have made a commitment to love your family with an Agape love, then you will continue to love them even when they seem unlovable.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Use this time in your life to practice unconditional love to the members of our family. Treat them as you would your best friend - pray for them, forgive without being asked, think of things that you can do that will make them enjoy the day, do things for them that will make their burdens light, and plan your activities to include them. Even when you don't feel like it. Remember, just because you feel something, it doesn't mean it's true! When you don't feel like showing Agape love, remind yourself of all that God, through Christ, has done for you and remind yourself that you have committed to loving that person unconditionally and chose to do something special for that person today.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I know this works. I have experienced this in my life. A very wise counselor told me that in order to release the resentment I had built up towards someone in my life, I had to chose to love that person. I had to pray for that person. I didn't live with this person, so for the most part, I could only pray. But every time I thought of that person or began to recount in my mind all that that person had done to hurt me, I stopped myself and said a prayer that God would bless them and give them a wonderful day and that that person would feel the love of God. It took a long time, but after a few months I began to realize that I was no longer resentful towards that person. I was actually feeling positive towards that person and began to see them in a new light. Since that time I can say that I have no more resentment (even when that person does something that offends me) and that I have a genuine love for that person. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Your emotions can and will follow your mind. Choose to love those in your family and learn to pour out love on them and this will prepare you for loving your husband. Loving your husband is not something that will come easily at all times...yes, there will be times when your husband does things that create a strong feeling of love, but there will be many other times when your husband will not create these feelings and that is when your commitment to love him "in sickness and in health, in rich or in poor" will take all that is in you and then some...but God is able and with His help you will be able to say with Paul "I can do all things, through Christ who gives me strength." Love God, ask for His wisdom and strength, and love your family (and in the future, your husband) at all times and all circumstances.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">All My Love,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Mom</span>Ruth Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00297156024421986096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949460559595885524.post-87852914201517624982011-07-13T07:15:00.000-07:002012-07-10T12:53:02.303-07:00Great Expectations<span style="font-family: inherit;">My Daughters,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">As a follow up to my last letter, I wanted to touch on the subject of expectations. When you were a little girl you expected your mom to fix your meals, wash your clothes. In general you expected your parents to take care of you and meet all your needs. This is right and good. As you begin to grow up you begin to do more and more of those things on your own, and expect less and less of your needs to be met by your parents. But, on occasion, your mother might do something for you that you are in the habit of doing for yourself, like tidying your room for you or making your bed for example. When this happens you are pleasantly surprised right? You want to thank her and let her know how nice that was. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Now, what if your mother has usually made the bed for you still, even beyond when you could do it yourself, but for some reason she kept doing that for you each morning. When you see your bed made, you hardly take notice, and you probably would not think to thank her for doing that for you. And if one day she is unable to make your bed due to illness or forgetfulness, you might even be irritated and wonder what she was thinking to inconvenience you so.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I know this example is a little silly, but I wanted to make a point about expectations. When we expect something and that expectation gets met, it gets little notice and it is more like just checking it off of a list of some sort. And then, when our expectations are not met, it can lead to frustration, irritation, bitterness and even to a damaged relationships!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In a marriage, expectations can be deadly. As little girls and young women we often dream of the kind of man we hope to marry. We think about all the wonderful things he will do for us and how wonderful he will make us feel. We dream of the home he will provide for us, the children he will help you raise and so many other things. But you need to be careful as you build your image of your future husband. Be very careful. God has the perfect future spouse for you...he will be perfect for you, but he will not be perfect. Your spouse will challenge you in many ways as God uses him to mold you into His image. But your expectations can get in the way of that process.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I know all about this, because I did this. I had high expectations of marriage and what a husband should and should not be. For starters, I was looking for a tall, dark and handsome young man who would romantically sweep me off my feet, surrounding me with giddy feelings and stars in my eyes. But God, in His infinite wisdom instead brought to me a sincere friend who loved me for who I was, flaws and all. He wasn't tall or dark, but he was handsome...but 30% is not a passing grade in a classroom, right? I overlooked God's best for me and sought elsewhere for my perfect husband...I almost married the wrong man - he was tall and dark , but not exceptionally handsome (60% is a passing grace, right?). I had stars in my eyes and he was romantic, but those stars blinded me to fatal flaws in his character. I am so thankful that God stepped into my life and removed those stars and showed me the path I was walking down before it was too late....a path that would most likely lead to a difficult marriage, abuse and falling away from my walk with Him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The problem with my expectations was that I was using the world's standards as my own, and looking at outward appearances. We have to be very careful that our expectations line up with God's best for us. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">My mindset of expectations didn't end there though. Even though I followed God's direction and soon realized the more valuable character qualities in your father, as well as seeing the blessing of having a dynamic friendship as the solid foundation on which to build a marriage, I still brought expectations into our marriage relationship that caused us many trying times.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For example, in my mind, husbands were expected to take out the trash for example. I have no idea where I got this idea, but it was probably all those TV sitcoms I watched growing up! So, by expecting my husband to take out the trash, I would not take notice of when it did get taken out. But if it wasn't taken out when it needed to go, I would fume and fuss, get irritated, eventually take it out myself grumbling the whole way...and I would let him know that he had let me down, and in not so subtle ways. There were many such expectations that I had, so there were many times that I would be irritated with him. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Now, let's put on the other shoe, so to speak. Let's say that your future husband expects you to get up every morning and fix his breakfast and sack lunch for him...his mother always did this for his dad, so he expects it of you. Every morning you do this for him and he eats the breakfast and grabs the lunch, wishes you a good day and heads out the door...after a few months you begin to feel neglected and un-appreciated as he never thanks you for your dedicated service to him. And then when you are not feeling well and sleep in, your husband bangs around in the kitchen, grumbling about having to make his own breakfast and lunch...and maybe even making a snide comment in the evening about whether or not your would laze around in bed again tomorrow or not. Does this make you want to get up with him the next day when he never says thank you and makes life miserable for you when you don't do it? You can't win, right?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But now let's say you do not expect your husband to take out the trash. When it's full, you take it out. And then one day you are in the back yard and you look up to see your husband taking out the trash - WOW! You are so thankful that he thought to do that for you! You make a point of thanking him! He get's husband brownie points for sure! Or let's say that your husband never expects you to get up with him in the morning, and then one day you do - he is so thankful that you are there to share conversation (and possibly Bible time) with him, and he will exclaim over the wonderful breakfast...he might even brag to his co-workers about the exceptionally good lunch you prepared for him. Would that response make you want to do it again for him? Of course it would. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">So remember, when you expect something...you can and will be disappointed. But when you don't expect something you just might be pleasantly surprised!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">All my love,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Mom</span>Ruth Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00297156024421986096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949460559595885524.post-56035420713349300902011-07-12T08:06:00.000-07:002012-07-10T12:56:34.525-07:00Honoring Your Father, Loving Your Husband<span style="font-family: inherit;">My Daughters,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In Titus 2 Paul instructs the "older women" to "encourage the young women to love their husbands..." In some translation it reads "teach". But, you may ask, if a woman falls in love with a man and they marry, why would they need to be taught how to love their husband if she is already in love with him? That is a very good question! The answer is that "falling in love" is not what the Bible talks about when it comes to marriage. If you can fall IN love, then you can (and will) fall OUT OF love! The love spoken of in the Bible is a love that is a commitment to the object of the love. It is very similar to the friendship kind of love - putting the object of your love before yourself, desiring to bless them and please them. But before I get into that subject (in a later letter), I'd like to talk to the young women who are not married yet. At this time, none of my daughters in my home are married, but that doesn't mean that this command to teach them to love their husbands can be ignored by me or them!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">When you are a daughter at home, you can practice loving your husband! Until you are married, you are under the protection, provision and instruction of your father. God calls you to honor your father, and no where in scriptures does it say you outgrow this command! Honoring your father can be excellent preparation for being a help-meet to your husband someday...at least the kind of loving support that I am talking about. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So, how does "honoring your father" look? How can that prepare you to love your husbands? It can in many ways. The kind of love and honor I am talking about is that of a commitment to improve their life, to support them in their work and ministry, and to make them know they are loved. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The most important thing you can do to honor and love your father is to pray for him! He has a lot of responsibility on his shoulders and faces our evil world everyday to supply our needs! Pray for his protection, wisdom, strength against temptation, spiritual growth, good health. Praying for someone will always increase your love for that person. You can also ask him if there's anything you can specifically pray for - knowing that you are praying for your father will mean so much to him! And, of course, praying for your father will establish a habit that will convert over nicely to praying for your husband when you are married. Speaking of praying for your husband...have you ever prayed for your future husband? God knows him intimately and even now you can be praying that God would bless him and teach him, to protect him from evil, and mold him to be the godly husband you hope to have!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The kind of honor and love I am talking about also takes getting to know your father - what he likes, what displeases him, what his purpose in life is, what his ministry is...and maybe he doesn't even know these things himself, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have them! You need to study your father, get to know him, spend time with him listening to him, asking questions to draw him out. What does he like, what are his favorite foods, what is his favorite thing to do, what does he like to read, what are his hopes and dreams? Find out more about your dad than anybody, besides your mom, knows about him! Then take what you have learned and try to please him. Make meals/snacks that he likes. Use the Golden Rule - "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" - do things for your father that you know would please you! Offer to help him out with his projects (it's OK to get dirty/greasy). Ask him to teach you the things he knows, especially things that will help you care for your family someday - like how to fix plumbing, a lawn mower, change the oil in a car and more! If your father has a hobby, try it out. Even if it's a "guy thing" - some male hobbies are quite fun! Working side by side with your father will be so special. Men are not prone to sharing their heart with others...but when you spend time with your father doing something he enjoys, it will give opportunity for special talks as well! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Thinking about your father during the day, and planning to do things for him once he gets home from work, will create a deeper love for your father. Many young girls look at their father from a viewpoint of what their fathers do for them - protection, provision, fix their things, and the maker of the rules in her life. But they can be so much more! When you invest yourself in someone else, you will deepen your relationship with that person in ways that will last a lifetime. I wish I had done this, but it's too late as my father passed away a few years ago. So let me encourage you to do this for your father, no matter how old you are, or if your relationship with your father has taken a few hits through the years. Commit to loving your father in tangible ways, day in and day out, giving him the respect and honor that God commands and going that much farther and becoming his loving daughter.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But what about submitting to and obeying your father? Let's assume that in general you obey your father and do as he asks...but is that all you should do? When you obey your father, you are practicing how to honor your husband. When you act in accordance with your father's wishes even when he is not present, you are practicing to love your husband and you are pleasing God, your heavenly father! When you are married, your husband will have ideas about how a home should be run, what activities he likes to have his wife involved in and how his wife interacts with others in her world. But he will not be with his wife 24 hours a day. Your father is not with you 24 hours a day, but that does not mean that if he is not there, that you can act anyway you please...you still need to live according to his preferences and rules at all times. By committing to living your life according to your father's (and your heavenly Father's) will, you are learning to curb your sinful nature and gain self control. This is not easy! This is impossible in our own strength as our nature as women is to put ourselves and our desires first and take any opportunity to fulfill those desires when no one is looking! But, much like your Father in heaven, he will find out. What you do when you are not in his presence, will usually get back to him somehow...and even if it doesn't, disobedience always damages relationships. When you have gone against your father wishes, the next time you are with your father your will hold back that part of your life from him and your will be dishonest with him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">What about when you are making decisions? Are you wise in your own eyes, or do you realize that your father is a source of wisdom? Granted, not all fathers are filled with Godly wisdom, but if your father is a believer then this is most likely true, and if he is not a believer, he has lived longer than you and understands the world around you much better! Talk to your dad when you are needing to make decisions and listen to him. You might not like what he suggests, but dad's have been around and they know things you do not know. Unless what your father tells you is contrary to God's word, you should put great importance to what he says. If you are unsure about anything - activities to participate in, what subjects to study, where to volunteer your time, how to help your mother, how to spend your money, what clothes are acceptable to wear...ask your father and listen to him. So many times women and girls will ask the man in their life for his opinion, but when that opinion does not line up with the girl's/women's opinion, the women/girls will react in defensiveness and reject that opinion. We, as women, like to have our own way (it started with Eve). When the men in our lives do not agree with us we are tempted (and usually give in to this temptation) to rationalize our way out of listening to and honoring the men in our lives. So I encourage you to ask for his opinion/help and take it...don't discuss it, just take it to heart and take some time to think about it, and see why he would recommend/suggest what he did! You can ask him to elaborate on his opinion and why he feels that way...but sometimes he might not know exactly why or may not think it prudent to explain it in detail to you...so you may just have to take his word for it! Pray about it and ask God to show you what to do...but don't reject anything your father suggests just because it doesn't line up with your wants and desires. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">What about his ministry? Does that seem strange to you? Event though your father is not a pastor or a missionary, every Christian father has a ministry whether or not he realizes it! In Deuteronomy 6, God's word says to father (and mothers), "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I commend you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children..." His ministry in your home is to teach your family about God. Think about what it takes to have family devotions in your home and work to make it as easy as possible for your father to do this. In our home, in order for us to have a time as a family to study God's word with my husband, we have to plan and execute having dinner on time, and have the books needed within arms reach, and all the children willing to remain at the table when they are finished eating...we also need to be very careful not to make too many evening commitments, as when we have events in the evening it never fails that we run from the dinner table not even thinking about taking the time to read together! So think through and plan out what it takes to get your home set up to make having family Bible time possible and commit to executing that plan every day! Make a list...dinner ingredients in the house (thawed if need be), dishes clean, table set, dinner started on time...what ever it takes!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">When you give your father the honor and respect I just described, it will uplift him and encourage him. It will cause him to take his role as your father more seriously! So many men (and women) today have succumbed to our world's flawed portrayal of a father and husband..they are the bread winner and their job in life is to keep the women in their lives happy, 'cuz "if momma ain't happy, aint nobody happy". But that is so wrong! We as women are called by God to support, encourage, help and love the men in our lives and make them happy!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">What if your father is not a believer, does that change my advice to you? Not really. Not unless he commands you to do something contrary to God's word. Loving and honoring your father as I have shown you today can be a powerful tool that God can use in your father's life to draw him to the things of God...this kind of daughter is not heard of in the world (and even in most Christian circles) today. He will take notice. And in this case, praying for your father is even more vitally important!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">So, prepare to be a godly help-meet to your husband by being a godly, helpful daughter to your father...you'll never regret it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">All My Love,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Mom</span>Ruth Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00297156024421986096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949460559595885524.post-78079510798396137322011-07-09T09:13:00.000-07:002012-07-10T12:54:39.101-07:00Dealing with Daily Frustrations and Trials<span style="font-family: inherit;">My Daughters,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">If you are anything like me, you deal with little irritations almost constantly, frustrations seem to interrupt even the best of days, and some days everything is irritating and frustrating. And then there are trials...these are not trivial, are not easily "fixed" and may last for days/months/years. How can we deal with these in a godly manner? How can we go on when everything seems to be going against us? How can we go on when our dreams seem to be slipping away and nothing we do seems to brings us any close to fulfilling our lifelong dreams and ambitions?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">This is a really tough subject, and one that I fail at so often. But I have gone through many trials, some great, some small, and on almost a daily basis I am faced with irritations and frustrations and I am not so good at handling these properly...so I am sharing with you what I know to be true, but am still trying to apply it in my life and working to develop good habits in this area.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Before I get into ways to deal with frustrations and trials, we need to talk about who God is, and how He works in our lives. I believe God is sovereign...but what does sovereign mean? I found this definition on <a href="http://www.theopedia.com/Sovereignty_of_God">Theopedia.com</a> - "all things are under God's rule and control, and that nothing happens without His direction or permission. God works not just some things but all things according to the counsel of His own will (see Eph. 1:11). His purposes are all-inclusive and never thwarted (see Isa. 46:11); nothing takes Him by surprise. The sovereignty of God is not merely that God has the power and right to govern all things, but that He does so, always and without exception. In other words, God is not merely sovereign de jure (in principle), but sovereignde facto (in practice)." Here are some great Bible passages that talk about the sovereignty of God that you should read - <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Lamentations%203:32-38&version=NKJV">Lamentations 3:32-33</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%2011:33&version=NKJV">Romans 11:23</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2010:29-31&version=NKJV">Matthew 10:29-31</a>,<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Timothy%201:12&version=NKJV"> 2 Timothy 1:12</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2019:21&version=NKJV">Proverbs 19:21</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James%204:%2014%20-%2015&version=NKJV">James 4: 14 - 15</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Our loving heavenly Father is active in our lives, carefully choosing what will and will not happen. He uses all things to grow us, draw us to Him and deepen our relationship with Him...and how we react to trials and frustrations will directly correlate to how well we grow and whether or not our difficulties strengthen our walk with the Lord, or if we put a wall of sin up that hinders us from growing in grace.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Our natural, human response to problems is to ask the questions "Why Me?" Our knee jerk reaction is that "life isn't fair, I don't deserve this" and we recoil in pain and we act like a victim. But is that a godly response? Job was going about his business one day when suddenly two servants ran to him and said that all his livestock had been stolen and their caretaker had been slain, and then another servant told him that all his flocks and servants had been killed by fire from heaven, and lastly another servant came and told him that all his 10 children and their families had been crushed to death in the oldest son's home that collapsed from a great wind. Wow, can you imagine that? Did Job cry out "Why me? This isn't fair! I don;t deserve this?" No, these are the words that he spoke in this moment of greatest suffering: "Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked shall I return there. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD.” Now that is a godly response to trials. And the Bible also tells us that "In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong". </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I have a secret weapon for you to use when things seem to go wrong - when you heart cries out "why me?" make that questions "Why is God bringing this into my life, what is His purpose and what is He trying to teach me?" Go to Him and ask Him to lead and guide your thoughts, actions and words that you may grow and learn and be molded into the likeness of His son, Jesus Christ, right from the start of the trial that has come into your life. Look for His hand in everything, go straight to Him - my tendency when a trial hits is to call my mom, my friends...and I seek God last...but I have that all backwards! I must run to God first.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Let me tell you about how a potter makes a clay pot. The potter molds the clay into the shape that he desires, but it is soft and pliable and not suitable for any purpose yet, it needs to be cured in a hot fire. So he takes the pot and places it in the oven to cure. When he thinks that it might be cured, he takes it our of the fire and flicks the edge of the pot to test if it is finished - if it makes ringing sound it is cured, and can be cooled and used. If it is not cured, the sound will be more of a "thump". That means it has not finished curing and needs to go back into that same fire again in order to finish the curing process. We are like that clay pot and God is the potter. When we find ourselves facing the same type of trial over and over again ("why do I keep having to deal with financial difficulties, when will I ever have more than just enough money?"), that is a big clue that God is working in your life to teach you something and you are not learning that lesson! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">When we face a trial on our own strength and knowledge, we never learn anything from it and usually fall flat...we might muddle our way through, but we are miserable and disheartened. We may even end up being angry at God or walk away from Him entirely, holding bitterness and resentment in our hearts. But when we run to God when the trial comes and plead with Him for wisdom and strength, He will carry you through - teaching, loving and molding you in the process. And remind yourself what you know to be true about God's love for you and His sovereignty in your life. In Jeremiah 29:11 He says "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." He loves you more than you will ever know. And He has something very special for you, something you can only experience when you have turned to Him in the midst of a trial, and laid aside your worry in favor of trusting God and spending time in prayer with Him - Paul tells you "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6 - 7).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Did you catch that? "With Thanksgiving"? Thankful for trials? You've got to be kidding, right? No, he's not kidding. James, the brother of Jesus also talks about being joyful in trials - "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." So thanking God for a trial, and being joyful that you are experiencing a trial is the godly response....but that seems impossible, doesn't it. Well, it's all in your perspective. When you have gone through a trial and you have seen God work in and through it, drawing you closer to Him and showing you His love in the midst of the pain, you have that experience to draw upon in the future. When you are facing a difficult trial, take time to remember how God has worked in your life (or in others) through trials, and remind yourself that God is at work in your life. He is intimately working in you to create something beautiful. Thank Him for loving you enough to not let you remain as you are, be joyful knowing you are not going through this alone and that God is and is going to do something big in your life through this.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Lastly, in Romans 8:28, Paul tells us that " in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Did you catch that? There's a condition in that promise. This promise is for those who LOVE HIM. Do you love Him? Remember what I shared in my last letter about loving God? Loving God is a daily decision to love Him, in the good times and bad times. God isn't just a first aid station or a band aide. You can't just live your life however you want, and then expect God to pick up he pieces when things fall apart. God wants you to love Him everyday and in all situations, so that when He does bring a trial into your life, you are coming into it with a full pool - full of the love of God in your heart and a strong relationship to Him. So be prepared, day in and day out, by steadfastly seeking the Lord and growing in your knowledge of Him and His truth, then the daily battles and the difficult trials will be tackled with God by your side as your best friend and confidant.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">What about the day to day? When it's little things and you find yourself getting all worked up by some frustration, is that any different? Not really. I believe God works in our lives in everything. If you pray for patience, be prepared for trials, tribulations and irritations galore! The only way we learn patience is by dealing with those things! So when you feel yourself getting angry and frustrated, turn to God. Say a quick prayer for wisdom and strength. Take a minute to see what is really going on. Take a deep breath, and try to calm yourself. God tells us that one of the fruits of the spirit is self control. We don't have that naturally, but He gives that to us. We need to seek Him in times of frustration.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">What about hormone induced mood swings? I know all about those! These can be a regular part of your life, but they can be especially strong during phases of a woman's life - especially at the beginning and ending of our child bearing years, during pregnancy and after having baby. First let me say that hormone induced emotions are not an excuse to sin. Run to God during these times, and if necessary go to a quiet room until the mood swing passes. Be sure you are taking good care of yourself - eating good foods, taking healthy supplements (vitamin B complex is vital), getting your rest, and look into taking herbal remedies ("Remifemin", a low does black cohosh remedy has helped me tremendously) to help balance your hormones. And please get help if you find yourself spiraling down into deep depression no matter what you do, as sometimes our bodies can get so out of balance that we need medical help to remedy the situation, but this should not be your first defense - God is your first defense.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">When you are living your life with God first, then you will be able to say with King David "I lift up my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip – he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you – the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm – he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." (Psalm 121:1-8)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">All my Love,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Mom</span><br />
<br /></div>Ruth Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00297156024421986096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949460559595885524.post-43153999944011016052011-07-08T10:23:00.000-07:002012-07-10T12:54:40.578-07:00Striving to Become a Woman After God's Own Heart<span style="font-family: inherit;">My Daughters,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The Westminster's Shorter Catechism begins with this question and answer: What is the chief end of man? To glorify God and enjoy Him forever. As believers, our number one priority in this life is our relationship to God. Our lives should bring glory to Him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Imagine a bride-to-be...planning her wedding and preparing to be her fiance's bride. The first thing she thinks about upon waking is her betrothed. As she gets dressed she wonders if the outfit she is selecting will please him when she sees him later in the day. As she eats, she wonders what he's eating for breakfast. As she styles her hair she remembers that he said that he likes it when she wears her hair up, so she styles it that way. As she puts on her makeup she remembers that he really liked it when she used the lavender eye liner. So, of course, she uses the lavender eye liners. And then there's the earrings he gave her, she has to wear them again today since she's going to be seeing him...and she can't wait! Oh how she wishes she could spend time with him first thing in the morning instead of having to wait all the way until his lunch break at work!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Did you know that Paul tells us in the Bible that the relationship of believers to Christ is like that of a bride to a bridegroom? We, the body of believers, are waiting for Christ to return and take us to His home. He is our bridegroom. Are you preparing for Him each day? Are you growing more in your love for Him each day? Do you think about what pleases Christ when you make decisions about how you use your time, how you dress, how you eat, what you talk about? We, as believers saved by His paying the price for us through His death, should live that way!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">But how can we do this? What does it look like in the average day?</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.inspiredbrushstrokes.com/Hawaii13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="new"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="241" src="http://www.inspiredbrushstrokes.com/Hawaii13.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">this artwork is by an artist who hides the word "Jesus" somewhere in the painting </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">- check out her other works, they are amazing!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> In the book "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Woman-After-Gods-Own-Heart%C2%AE/dp/0736918833?ie=UTF8&tag=elevenb-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">A Woman after God's Own Heart</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=elevenb-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=0736918833" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" />" Elizabeth George talks about the Seven Sacred Pools in Hawaii. There are several pools with waterfalls in between each pool, the water dropping into one pool and then leaves that pool and fills the next pool lower down. Our lives are like that waterfall. Our first pool needs to be filled before we can fill the next one, and so forth. Our first pool is our relationship with God! We need to be filled with love for Him and from Him first and foremost! In order to fill that pool, we have to put God first in our life and that takes work. It takes dedication and determination.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I have tried to have a time with God every day since I became serious about seeking God's will for my life way back in high school. I have not always succeeded, and there have been long spells when I hardly ever had a regular time to meet with my Lord, read His word and talk with Him. Until I read Elizabeth George's book I had not really committed myself to doing it daily. I did it when it worked out, and at times I'd be consistent for a few weeks or months, but then the pressures of life would squeeze out that time - "I don't have time today to meet with God, He must understand because He knows how long my "to do" list and how little sleep I've been getting". But this time is critical! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">When I was in school I would try to do it before going to sleep at night - so many times I'd awake during the night and find my Bible lying on the bed next to me and I would have no recollection of what I read, and obviously I did not remain awake long enough to talk with God after He talked to me (through His word). So I have always tried to do it in the morning. But in order to do this you have to wake yourself up early enough to take the time, especially if you have to be somewhere at a certain time that day, or to be awake before your children wake up and the demands of the day rush up to you. Elizabeth George says to "beat the kids up" - no, do not beat your children, but beat them to waking! Get up before they do! Yes, there are nights where a young mother might get very little sleep, and for her health she needs to sleep as late as the children do, but she still needs to find time to start her day with God. Maybe set the children up with their breakfast and sit at the table and read to the children! Or have your Bible lying where you sit to nurse your baby and the first time you nurse your Baby, read the Bible and pray. Make it work for you. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">A relationship takes time, it takes work, it takes commitment. If you have a friend and you never talk with them, or listen to them, how good if your friendship?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Reading the Bible is listening to God - hearing what He says about how to live your life. You can read a portion of scripture, or use a "Read Through The Bible in a Year" Bible to guide your reading, or use a Bible study book to help you apply the Bible to your life. Memorizing scripture is a great way to internalize God's truths and it will help you apply it in your life. When you find a passage that really speaks to you or helps you to know what God's will for you is, memorize that passage. I've just started memorizing scripture for the first in years and it's not as hard as I thought it would be, and the passage I memorized years ago are still lurking around in my mind and come into my thoughts when I need them!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Praying is talking with God. Usually you do all the talking, but many times while I am praying I will think of something important I need to do, or maybe further understanding about what I was reading, or maybe I'll be asking for help with a problem and suddenly I'll think of the solution to that problem. That is God talking to me! I just had this yesterday. In the morning I was thinking about my desire to start a new blog, but couldn't decide what to use as the subject matter - I have so many things I like to do or like to talk about. So as I was working on my laundry, I started to pray and ask God to show me what He wanted me to write about, and within seconds I remembered the talk I gave last spring at a mother-daughter tea about <a href="http://11blessings.blogspot.com/2010/05/mothers-and-daughter-side-by-side.html">mother's and daughters walking side by side</a>. And then I knew I needed to start a blog to share my heart with my daughters, teaching them to be women of faith. So this very blog is the result of hearing God's answer to my prayer while I was still praying about it!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Learning from someone else is also a great way to grow in your faith. For many women, spending time with a wise, godly woman isn't something we can do on a regular basis, but many wise, godly women have written books that can teach us many things! That's how I have learned the bulk of how to apply God's word in my life! <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Loving-God-All-Your-Mind/dp/0736913823?ie=UTF8&tag=elevenb-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Elizabeth George</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=elevenb-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=0736913823" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" />, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Passion-Purity-Learning-Christs-Control/dp/0800758188?ie=UTF8&tag=elevenb-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Elizabeth Elliot</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=elevenb-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=0800758188" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" />, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Duggars-Counting-Americas-Families-How-Paperback/dp/B002ZDNUMA?ie=UTF8&tag=elevenb-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Michelle Duggar</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=elevenb-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B002ZDNUMA" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" />, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Lies-Women-Believe-Truth-that/dp/0802472966?ie=UTF8&tag=elevenb-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Nancy Leigh DeMoss</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=elevenb-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=0802472966" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /> and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Power-Praying-Wife-Stormie-Omartian/dp/0736919244?ie=UTF8&tag=elevenb-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Stormie Omartian</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=elevenb-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=0736919244" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /> are a few authors who have impacted my life in the past few years. Be careful in choosing the authors you study under, as not all Christian authors are doctrinally sound, many are worldly and fall into the category of teachers who lead others astray from the pure gospel. 2 Timothy 4:3 speaks of this: "For the time will come when people will not up up with sound doctrine, Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears way from the truth and turn aside to myths."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Lastly, it can be very helpful to have an accountability partner. An accountability partner is someone who commits to meeting with you (in person or by phone) on a regular basis, which can be once a week, once a month or whatever works for both of you, to encourage one another and pray for each other and hold each other accountable. I have been doing this for over 2 years now and it has been so helpful for me. I tell her what I want to be held accountable for, and she shares her desires for spiritual growth with me. We pray for each other as often as possible regarding each other's struggles. Knowing that she is praying for me, and that sometime soon I will be sharing with her how successful I have been in having a regular time with my Lord helps me to stay on track! Ask the Lord to show you who would be a good accountability partner for you and ask that person if she would be willing to do this with you! You won't regret it!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Once you are filling your heart and mind regularly with the things of God, and taking time to talk with Him, your spiritual pool will fill up to overflowing. That overflow will spill out into your relationships in your family. But that is for my next letter.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I pray that what I have shared with you will enable you to become dedicated to spending time regularly with Him who died for you, and in so doing that you will be filled with the love of God and that it will bring glory to Him and bless all who know you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">With all my Love,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Mom</span>Ruth Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00297156024421986096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949460559595885524.post-41606262595541419212011-07-07T18:39:00.000-07:002012-07-10T12:54:07.922-07:00First Things First<span style="font-family: inherit;">My Daughters,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Before anything else is said, the basis for everything is your relationship to Jesus Christ. I am not talking about going to church, reading your Bible, attending Bible studies, going on missions trips, or even praying before meals. I am talking about a relationship with God the Father, through the blood of Jesus Christ, and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Without that, everything I am going to share on this blog is meaningless, temporary, and self glorifying. And you will find it impossible to apply the things I am sharing over the long haul, because the Bible does not say "I can do all things because I am woman", but "in Christ who strengthens me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">So I'd like to take time to talk about how to find the strength to be all the we can be as women, and how to bring glory to God in our lives. To begin, let's assume that you believe that there is a God. Secondly let's assume that you believe the Bible to be true and God's inspired written word (if you don't believe these, please visit <a href="http://www.allabouttruth.org/how-do-we-know-the-bible-is-the-inspired-word-of-god-faq.htm">All About The Truth</a> ).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The question you need to ask yourself is "Am I saved by the blood of Jesus Christ". If you are relying on saying "the prayer" to ask Jesus into you heart, you might be sadly mistaken. If you are relying on your goodness, you are sadly mistaken. If you believe in God, that Jesus Christ is His son, that He died on the cross, and that the Bible is true - you have lots of company since the Devil and all his henchmen believe the same thing! You say you go to church and read the Bible and do many good things? Not good enough...those are good things, but in and of themselves they are nothing. Jesus said in Matthew 7:22 - 23 "Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles. Then I will tell them plainly,'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers'". These people came with high qualifications - prophesy, miracles, casting out demons...pretty impressive isn't it, yet Jesus called them evildoers! So the question you must ask yourself is, "Does Jesus know me? Do I have a relationship with Him"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">To have a relationship with Jesus Christ means that you believe that God, the Father, send His only Son, fully man and fully God, the only perfect man, to take our sins on us and pay the penalty for our sins by dying in our place. "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever belives in Him will no perish, but have everlasting life" Jn 3:16. In Romans 5:8 God tells us that "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us". Romans 3:23 says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". We all know we are sinners - it's obvious! No matter how hard we try we can not be perfect (ever told a lie? Then you are a liar...ever taken anything that wasn't yours? Then you are a theif). So how can we make up for our sins? Romans 6:23 tells us "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord". We can only pay for our sins by dying and going to hell...but we can never get to heaven because God can not be in the presence of sin. But God knew this, and loved us so much that He gave His ONLY Son, to live on the earth, live perfectly and love perfectly, and the be beaten and spit upon and hung to die in order to pay for your sins and mine. 2 Corinthians 5:21 says, "For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">But how do we get that? How can we get this free gift of eternal life? Can I just say "the prayer" and then it's all taken care of? Yes and no. Romans 10: 9 - 10 says "if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one blieves unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." You receive God's free gift of salvation by believing that Jesus is God's Son, that He died for you sins on the cross, and He rose again from the grave to give us eternal life with Him. "For whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Confess that you are a sinner, that you can not save yourself. Tell God that you believe His word and that Jesus died for you. Commit yourself to turning from your sinful ways and thank Him for his forgiveness. That is where it all starts...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Is that all? Do you now have your "free get out of jail" card and you can go about your business? Not at all. Recognizing Jesus Christ as your saviour is the first step and the forgiveness of you past sins is complete...but what is next? Let me give you an illustration - let's say a young man courts and wins a young ladies affections, asks her to marry her, goes to the church and says his vows, kisses his lovely bride and then walks out of the church never to see her again, or maybe he'll stop by the house once in a while and ask her for something...and maybe once in a while he'll tell someone what a wonderful wife he has and all that she's done for him. Does he have a relationship with his wife? Does she know him? Is he fulfilling his vows? Is he showing his love and growing in his relationship with her, getting to know her likes and dislikes...maybe making changes in his life to make her pleased with him?? Does this ring a bell? So many have "said the prayer" and then act like that man - go on living their lives just as they want, ignoring the One who laid down His life for them and living as though what pleases Him doesn't matter at all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">This relationship with Jesus Christ is the process of making Him Lord of your life. Studying Christ's life, God's commandments...to see what pleases Him. If you love someone, don't you want to do things that please Him? God loves you so much that He wrote it all down in the Bible - things to bless you, to make your life a blessing to others, and if we follow His commands you will be blessed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">But you still sin? Yes, we all sin. But the question is, is your life marked by sin - are you continuing to sin habitually over and over again without remorse? If so, question your salvation because when you accept Christ as your Savior, the Holy Spirit comes to dwell in you and is your guide - He will make you aware of your sins. Once you are saved, you should study God's word and seek to apply it in your life. Becoming Christ-like is a life long process and it takes dedication. When you sin, confess it and ask for strength to overcome it the next time around. Your life should become a ray of light in a dark world of sin...if your friends and family don't see a change in your life, then there probably hasn't been one.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">If you are saved, then put God first in your life. Give Him the first time in the day - read His word, do Bible studies, read books that teach you how to apply God's word in your life, find a mentor who is mature in his/her walk in the Lord and learn from them. Pray genuinely every day, without ceasing...God hears your every prayer and will answer your every prayer. But remember that God is not a lucky charm - He will answer your prayer according to His perfect will for you so sometimes He may answer with a "no" or "wait"...but pray and share with Him everything. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">If you haven't read it yet, the best book I have found for women to grow in their relationship with God is "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Woman-After-Gods-Own-Heart%C2%AE/dp/0736918833?ie=UTF8&tag=elevenb-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">A Woman after God's Own Heart</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=elevenb-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=0736918833" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" />" by Elizabeth George. This book helps you figure out your priorities as a believer and how to bring your faith into every area of your life. If you are a new believer, or a believer that struggles to live your life in a way that is pleasing to your Lord, please get this book and read it - look up the passages she uses in the book and use it as a tool for your morning time with the Lord. You will be blessed if you persevere, I can guarantee it! I read this book almost 2 years ago and it is the single most influential book (next to the Bible) I have read in my entire life - through the application of that book I have grown in my walk with the Lord more than in any other time of my life. I wish I could have read this book when I was younger, much younger!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">So, that is the foundation of all I will share - are you saved and making Christ Lord of your life...does He KNOW you and do you KNOW Him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">With all my Love,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Mom</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">PS If what I have shared with you here enabled you to claim your gift of salvation, or to take the steps to making Christ Lord of your life, I'd love to hear from you! Please leave a comment or <a href="mailto:busymomma11@gmail.com">email me</a> !</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">**I have used the Roman's Road for much of what I have shared, and you can read more on <a href="http://theromanroad.org/">The Roman Road.Org</a></span>Ruth Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00297156024421986096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949460559595885524.post-74401571400142321412011-07-07T07:51:00.000-07:002012-07-10T12:54:15.353-07:00My Purpose<span style="font-family: inherit;">I have been blogging randomly for a few years now. It started as a business blog, and then I began to blog about the happenings around our home. Because I am a mother to many, 11 to be exact, and run a home business my blogging has been sporadic at times, and dealt with all kinds of topics. But lately I have been wanting to do something more purposeful with blogging. After mulling this over for a few weeks, and praying about it this morning, I found a purpose for a new blog. Letters to my daughters.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">But why letters to my daughters in such a public forum? Because my daughters encompass more than just my biological daughters, but they will be the focus of my posts. I have mentored many young women through the years, both in my extended family as well as friends of my daughters and other young women who have come into my life. These are my spiritual daughters. They are not always available for teaching on a regular basis, so a blog is a great way to put all the things I want to share with them in a place where they can be found, anytime!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am also inspired to put these things in a blog because someday I might not be here or able to share these things with my daughters. I have no idea how many days God has given me to spend on this earth serving Him. I may live to be over 100 years old like my grandmother, or I may only have a few days/weeks/years before I go home to be with my Lord. I may live out my days with mental clarity, or I may experience things that make me unable to share these things with my daughters. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">God has taught me so much through the years, things that I never learned growing up and things that have been lost in our culture. I want to be able to pass on these things to my daughters so they can start their lives so much better equipped than I was. This will enable them to better serve God all their lives by fulfilling the high calling of godly womanhood right from the start. Not floundering like I did trying to "keep up with the Jones's" and beginning my life as a home maker with little to no skills, and following the world's advice as to being a wife and mother. I want to equip my daughters so that they enter marriage and motherhood with a good supply of the proper tools (and I'm not just talking about kitchen gadgets) and a strong relationship with their Lord that will carry them through the tough times.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I hope you are blessed by what I will share with you, and I pray the Lord will use this to equip many young women to make a difference in our world by fulfilling the High Calling of godly womanhood.</span>Ruth Ehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00297156024421986096noreply@blogger.com0