Preparing for Parenthood

My Daughters,


You are a blessing.  Your sisters and brothers are blessings.  Your future children will be blessings.  God gave you as a blessing.  I looked up the definition of the word blessing and it said "Gift from God".


Psalm 128: 2 - 4 says "Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table.  Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord." and Psalm 127: 3 says "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward."


You are a gift from God to your parents and family, a reward even.  And a gift or reward is something we all like to receive, right?  So everyone should want to receive children from God, right?  All mothers should love their children, right?  All children should love their siblings, right?


The answer to those questions is yes, they should, but that is not always the case.  In Titus 2 we learned that women need to be taught by the older women how to love their husbands, but that isn't all - it also says  "that they (older women) are to admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children," So young women need to learn how to love their children as well, it does not come naturally.  Oh yes, when a woman carries a baby for 9 months and then finally holds in her arms that precious baby, a natural biological love is there....but will that love carry her through the terrible twos, will it enable her to discipline her child in love when it is easier to give in to their tantrums, will it remain strong through the difficult years?  Maybe. I have heard otherwise many times...I have overheard mothers say "I can't wait for them to go back to school so I can have my life back", or "I'm taking 3 months maternity leave and then I'm going back to work," or "I can't wait for my kids to graduate from high school so I can do what I want to do" and I've even heard mothers speak to their children in public saying things like "you are such a brat" and "why do you always embarrass me?"  And the more obvious things like child abuse, abortion, and other great sins against children.  Women do need to be taught how to truly love their children.


So why do so many women/families fail to love their children?  Many families are not believers in the God of the Bible so they do not see children as a blessing from God.  Many families who go to church today do not believe that the Bible is relevant for today, so the do not see babies/children as blessings either.  And some, while knowing the children are a blessing, fail to act as though their children or siblings are blessings from God in the normal living from day to day.  I want to share my heart with you about how to love children...


As I have shown in the passages above, God tells us that children are a blessing, a reward, and a heritage.  Taking that to heart is the first step in loving children.  Having a mind and heart that sees that children as a creation of God is a great starting point.  They are not a chance happening, or even worse an "accident" as many parents will call their children who were a surprise to them.  Knowing that your siblings and your children were given as gifts from God will help you to have a deep love for them.  Understanding that children are not accidents or inconveniences will cause you to be prepared to take parenting seriously and to even look forward to them!


So the first step in learning to love your children is to see them as what they are - blessings straight from the hand of God.  The second step is to understand that our children are not ours, they are God's, and they are only entrusted to us for a time.  As parents you are admonished by God to train them and discipline them and teach them.  Deuteronomy 6: 4 - 7 tells us what the most important thing parents should do for their children:  "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is One!  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.  And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." The most important job parents have is first to love God, and secondly to teach His word to them in all they do.  And this requires that you are with them as you walk, sit, eat, go to bed, rise in the morning!  And that you take those times to share with them who God is and how much He loves them and what He wants them to do.


Did you notice the first part of that passage?  The first command?  "You shall love the Lord your God..."  The best preparation for parenthood is loving God with all that you are, reading His word and learning it by heart so that in turn you will be able to apply it in the everyday things in life.  When you love God, and know His word, that will prepare your heart to love you children when God brings them into your life.


But there's more that you can do to prepare to love your children!  You can learn to love your siblings, especially those younger than you!  Seeing your siblings as blessings will cause you to see them in a different light.  God has placed each of your siblings in your life for a purpose, and every time you are around them you have the opportunity to learn to love them in action and in word, even when they seem unlovable or they are driving you crazy.  Siblings tend to be either your best friend or your worse nightmare (and sometimes the same person can be both at different times!)....but in both cases they are in your life to teach you to love unconditionally!  To help them when they need help, to teach them when they don't understand, to comfort them when they are hurting and to be their champion and encourage  them when they are down and out.  Children are not always lovable, but God doesn't say to love people when they are lovable, but to love without reservation and unconditionally, as He has loved you.


Being a parent is a huge responsibility.  How you parent your children can and will greatly effect how they will parent their children and how they relate to other people and also how they view God.  God has placed each child in the home and given the parents the responsibility to teach and admonish them and show them the love of God.  In all this world, only the souls of people are eternal.  All of this world will pass away someday, but our souls are eternal.  So put the people in your life first before your possessions, hobbies and sports.  Invest in the things that have eternal value.  Invest yourself in your family.  Time is a lot like money - you are given only so much and you choose how you "spend" it.  You can spend it on things that please you and make you happy, or you can spend it on developing deep and lasting relationships with your family and those who God has brought into your life.  You make choices everyday on how you "invest" your time and how you "spend" you time...so be wise in the choices you make and use this time to prepare to be a loving mother to the children God will bless you with!


All My Love,


Mom