A Book for All My Daughters

No, no new letter yet.  But I have something just as good!  Last fall I was asked to contribute to a book about childbearing years.  The authors all have two things in common.  They have all given birth throughout their childbearing years.  Some had many children (like me) and some had only a few, with long time spans between having babies.  The second thing they all have in common is that they are women of faith.  Faith in the God of the Bible, and they each recognize that He is the author and creator of life, and that God uses our childbearing years to create us to be Christlike.

Relinquishing control (or perceived control) of our bodies to the creative work of pregnancy and childbirth has many correlations to the walk of a believer.  We have to take a back seat in order to really see the glory of what Christ is doing in us.  If we fight against God and choose to give in to our natural desire to control our lives in any way, then we are not allowing God to be Lord of our lives, and we will suffer for it.  If in no other way, we suffer from stress.  Because we are not God, we are not created with the ability to control most things, so when we try, we are putting stress into our lives.

Anyway, all that to say that this book is a great collection of stories.  Stories of faith and trust.  Stories of learning to recognize God's hand even in times of difficulty.  Stories of triumph and stories of intense heartache.  I wish all women of faith could read this book and learn of these women who have, in so many ways, "Been There, Done That."

Three Decades of Fertility was released in paperback and E-book on July 29!  You can use the link near the top of the right side bar for ordering (I will get a commission on your order so thanks in advance for ordering using my link!  With two trips to an Eastern European to rescue Priscilla, I'm sure any extra income will come in handy!).

But without further ado, please watch the trailer below, and click on the image in my side bar to read more about this book, and get a sneak peak at some of the stories, as well as other parts, of the book!

Oh Be Careful...

My Daughters,

Purity has taken some hits through history.  Hundreds of years ago, those who wanted to worship God in pure, undefiled worship, completely unrestricted by the state church, were labeled "Puritans".  This was not a compliment, it was an insult. But they liked the name and took it as their own.  Many who take purity seriously today are labeled as "legalists" or worse.  I'd like to talk about purity and it's place in our lives as believers and followers of Christ.

So, what is the definition of purity?  Hagnotes definition is "chastity, uprightness of life".  Merriam-Webster defines it as "the quality or state of being pure", and defines "pure" as "free from moral fault or guilt" . Vines Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words defines purity as "pure from defilement, not contaminated" and says it is from the same root as "holy".  

When I was a very little girl, I learned a song that we often sang in school that is all about purity, even though I didn't know it at the time.  The words go like this:

Oh be careful little eyes what you see!
Oh be careful little eyes what you see!
For the Father up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little eyes what you see!


Oh be careful little ears what you hear!
Oh be careful little ears what you  hear !
For the Father up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little ears what you  hear !


Oh be careful little hands what you do!
Oh be careful little hands what you do!
For the Father up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little hands what you do!

It was such a fun song to sing because it had great hand motions to go with it.  The words are so good for children to learn too.  It's so easy for children to see, hear and do things that they shouldn't, and the memories can last a lifetime!  But this song isn't just for children!  We must all be very careful what we allow ourselves to see, hear and do.

Casting Crowns recently released a song called "Slow Fade", and they included children singing a verse of the "Oh Be Careful" song in it.  This song has a great message for all of us.  It's so easy to allow things into our lives that seem insignificant at the time, but they can quickly grow and take over our lives, destroying our relationship with God and our families.  Take a moment to watch and listen to this music video:




It's so easy to let our moral purity slide in today's culture, but it can start in childhood.

As children, there is a purity of mind, a naivety, that is something to protect.  While all are born with sin, babies and young children have this purity if they have been sheltered from the evils of our world.  They assume that all people are good and would never hurt them.  They haven't been exposed to corrupt things that seep into their thoughts.  At least most children.  Sadly there are many children who have been exposed to evil through the movies and music their parents and family watch/listen to, and even more tragic are the children exposed to evils purposely by corrupt adults.  But that is not what I am going to be dealing with today.  I want to talk about what we allow into our lives and the lives of those around us.

Children need to be protected from evil influences.  Images, songs, and actions that children see, hear and participate in can stick with them for a lifetime, robbing them of some of the joys that most of us take for granted.  Young adults are bombarded in our culture at too early an age with images and songs that encourage them to think about boy/girl relationships and expose them to adult temptations long before they are mature enough to withstand them.  Today homeschoolers have been accused over and over again of sheltering their children.  These critics say that when these sheltered homeschooled children get "out in the world" they will freak out - go off the deep end.  That they will not be able to "handle" all that the world will throw at them.  They would rather see us begin to expose our children to the ways of the world while they are young, so they are used to it when they become young adults.

I believe that the philosophy of the world is flawed, and that there is great merit to sheltering our children.  I have heard it likened to a green house.  When a seedling sprouts it is unable to survive in the climate outside until it is strong.  The green house completely protects the seedling until it becomes prepared to go out into the garden.  A green house is usually equipped with the ability to open the windows and ceilings, allowing in fresh air at the warmest part of the day.  The time the plant is exposed to the elements (cold, rain and wind for example) can be slowly increased until the plant is determined to be hardy and then is ready to be planted in the garden and thrive.  This process is carefully planned and controlled by the owner of the plants and green house.

I believe that our children are very much like those plants.  If they are exposed to the evils of our world without any filter or protection when they are young and vulnerable, they will succumb to these influences and their purity will die.  If, however, our children's purity is carefully guarded in their childhood, and then with careful thought and the help of their parents allowed to learn about the world around them and the evils therein, supported by conversation and teaching them go to the Word of God in order understand what God has to say about such things, our children can develop a world view that is godly and biblical and be prepared to refute the philosophies of this world and, with God's help,  stand up under the temptations they will encounter.  If parents are not careful about what their children are exposed to, and are not there to discuss what God's word has to say, they can compromise their children's purity and ability to process the world around them.  In Deuteronomy 11:18 - 19  it instructs parents saying "You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul....You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up."  It is the responsibility of parents to be with their children as much as possible, teaching them the truths of God's word and applying them in every circumstance.

But how can we, as young women and older women, be pure?  What does that look like?  Let's take a look first at what the Bible says about purity:

I Timothy 4:12 says "Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe."

2 Timothy 2:22 says "Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart"

Titus 1:15 says "To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled"

Titus 2:5 admonishes women "to be sensible, pure. workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."

There are several things to consider when applying the concept of purity to our lives as women.  As seen in the scriptures above, it can involve our thoughts, speech, conduct, love and devotion to God.  I believe it can also involve how we act and how we dress.  It also involves what we expose ourselves to - garbage in, garbage out, so to speak.

First let's talk about our thoughts.  It amazes me that our minds seem to never stop thinking, unless we are asleep, but even then our thoughts can effect our dreams!  Until reading the book "Loving God with all Your Mind" by Elizabeth Elliot, I had never really thought about my thoughts and whether or not I could control them!  She explained that in 2 Corinthians 10:5, Paul tells them that "we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ" and that in Philippians 4:8, he admonishes them by saying "Finally, my brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."  It is so easy to allow our thoughts to wander!  Sin originates in the mind.  First we consider the temptation, then we think about giving in to it, pondering the sin, and then we act.  The mind is a powerful thing, and can seem out of our control at times.  But God can give us the ability to control our thoughts and turn away from impure thoughts.  It is important that we do this, because impure thoughts can and will lead to impure speech and actions.  If you wouldn't say or do the things you are thinking about in the presence of Jesus Christ, then you have no business thinking about it at anytime - remember your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit!  When you find yourself having thoughts that are not pure, quickly ask the Lord to take away the thoughts, to purify your mind, and then purpose to think on something else that is acceptable before the Lord.

One part of purity of the mind is being careful what we expose ourselves to.  Images and videos can stay in our minds permanently, coming back to haunt us when we least want them to.  Lyrics from songs can play over and over in your mind, even though you thought you weren't listening to the lyrics.  Would the images, videos, movies and songs you are exposing yourself to pass the test of Philippians 4:8?  Oh, be careful little eyes and ears - garbage in, garbage out.  If we feed our minds on the trash of this world, we can not expect our thoughts to be pure.  And our thoughts are where our actions and speech originate from.  So think twice about what you choose to expose yourself to, because you may never be able to get it out of your head.

Now let's consider our speech.  Does your speech always reflect purity?  Would someone you don't know well, but has heard you talk, consider your language and speech to be pure?  Would your speech make them aware of your faith in Jesus Christ, or would the revelation that your are a Christian surprise them?  There are many things that women participate in that can defile their speech - gossip, coarse joking, insults and snide remarks, sarcasm, flirting, and curses to name a few.  I'd like to talk about a kind of blasphemy and curses that is often overlooked.

You probably don't think you curse or blaspheme, but let's take a closer look.  Do you say "Oh my god"?  That is so common in our culture that many Christians take our God's name in vain on a daily basis.  What about using "OMG" in your texts and facebook status updates?  What about "Gee", "Golly," "Jees" and "Oh my Gosh" (Webster's Dictionary says "Origin of GOSH. euphemism for God", Origin of Golly is euphemism for God,) ?  There are more out there, but these are all derivatives of our precious Lord's name and can lead to true blasphemy.  Are these words used in a way to make our speech beautiful?  Pleasant? Or are they just substitutions for blasphemy?  I consider them nicknames, and they are a stepping stone into true blasphemy.  God does say in the Bible not to take His name in vane, but he never said we can't take our name in vane...if you must, say "man"! Let us not use our mouths to express the name of our precious Savior who died in our place in a careless way, and then use that same mouth to praise that name on Sunday morning!

"But I'd never say a curse" you say?  Do you ever say "dang it", "dang nab it" "darn" "darn it"?  Those are all substitutes for saying "damn".  Did you know that "damn" is defined as a verb that is "God condemning a person to suffer eternal punishment in hell: "To be forever damned with Lucifer".  The original phase is "God damn it," which you can hear on occasion, .  Really?  Should we as Christians say anything like that?  Is there a need for it?  These words are usually used in anger, a sin by the way.  So instead of speaking out in anger and cursing someone of something to the depths of hell, we should be asking the Lord for grace to stand under the daily frustrations (which, but the way, He has ordained for you to endure in the process of becoming Christ-like!).  What about "heck" "sam hill"?  Those are referring to hell.  Is there a need for a Christian to speak of hell on a regular basis?  And then there's the all to common "What the..." This leaves the listener to fill in the blank, and even godly individuals have probably heard the unsavory endings to this enough that their minds will fill in the blank, corrupting their minds in that moment, almost without their ever having time to stop the thought from happening.  Ephesians 4:29 says "Let no unwholesome word proceed from  your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear."  Let that verse be the filter that all your speech passes through before you utter it. God is interested in our speech, if you don't believe me, check out this list of verses about our speech!

What about our conduct?  We need to think twice about the things we agree to be involved in.  For example, take dancing.  If you have made a commitment to remain pure until your wedding day, saving that first kiss for your husband, what about physical contact?  I must say that slow dancing, close bodily contact, is giving part of yourself away before the alter.  Would your future husband want you to be holding hands with, or holding your body against, another man?  If you knew who your future husband was, and he was watching you dance with someone else, would you feel uncomfortable?  What about the feelings and thoughts you are probably causing in the young man you are dancing with?  Would you feel comfortable dancing with that young man if his fiance was standing there?  What about participating in that conduct in front of your parents?  Your pastor?  Your Savior?  What about the movies you see?  The restaurants/bars you frequent.  What about smoking, drinking or getting tattoos?  Consider carefully if you would do that if Christ were by your side, and if you wouldn't, then you shouldn't do it - He's in your heart, seeing everything you do.  Our lives should be a reflection of our faith in Christ.  We are to be growing Christ-like.  If Jesus wouldn't do what you are doing, should you be doing it?

The last things I want to talk about is how we, as women, choose to dress.  This is a very sticky subject, and I may step on some toes here.  I do not want to give you a list of what is modest and pure the wear, but to address the heart of the matter.  Men are visually oriented, and they were created to appreciate a woman's figure and to be attracted physically to their wife in a sensual, visual way.  Women are emotionally and physically oriented - we find fulfillment in our relationship with our husband (future husbands) through physical touch and emotional connection.  We women need to be very careful in how we dress.  Men can easily be tempted by the sight of a women who has dressed provocatively.  I know that it can feel good to have a man appreciate our beauty, but we should not be seeking that by dressing in a way to draw attention to our bodies.  I do not mean that you have to dress in a gunny sack, but you should not be dressing in such a way as to cause your brothers in Christ to stumble.  Let me be frank with you - showing your thighs or cleavage, or wearing clothes that reveal the curves of your body is defrauding to your brothers in Christ.  When you dress, check yourself in the mirror.  Bend over, sit in a chair.  Does your clothing draw attention to certain parts of your body?  Make sure that your womanly features are carefully hidden.  Save them for your husband!  You can dress femininely without being immodest.  If you are unsure, ask your father if he approves of your choice of clothing?  Your brothers?  Your pastor?  Would you want your daughter to dress in that manner?  What about your future husband - would you want him to be exposed to another woman wearing what you are wearing?  Let your true beauty be that of your inward self.  Let others be attracted to your personality and wit.  Let your clothes be outward adornment, adding to that inner beauty.

You might be saying in your heart that I am being a legalist - don't drink, don't dance....But it is a matter of the heart that I am talking about.  Are you living to please yourself or to please your Savior?  If you truly love your Lord, then you will plan your life around doing things that please Him and reflect His image in your life.  Are you living your life as a sacrifice of holiness to the one who lived a sinless life yet hung on a cross, dying a gruesome death in your place, or are you trampling on His sacrifice by claiming to be a Christian yet living as though you are not.  Romans 12:2 says "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." Your conduct does reflect on God if you claim Him.  But most importantly, your conduct reflects your love for Him, :

What about young women who have not been sheltered and bear the scares of exposure to the evils of our world?  What then?  Then start today.  Ask the Lord to purify your mind of the memories and images you have that are defiled.  Purpose to live a life of holiness, with God's help and grace.   Do not dwell on where you have been, holding onto bitterness or making excuses.  God is writing the story of your life, and He will use all of your life to be a testimony of His grace.  He has given you a garment of righteousness in exchange for your garment of defilement.  Claim this every time you are tempted to consider yourself less that your sisters in Christ.  We are all sinful, we all sin.  But the good news is that forgiveness is available through Christ's shed blood, all we need to do it ask.  And He doesn't only forgive, He forgets, and so must we.  Use your experiences to show God's amazing grace in your life, but don't let them drag you down, make you feel defiled or hinder  your serving your Lord in purity and truth today.

So be careful to be pure, be careful of what you allow into your life so you can be a fragrance of purity in a world of defilement.

All My Love,

Mom

Trusting God - Dealing with Fear and Worry

My Daughters,


Trusting God may be one of the most important thing to do as a Christian. It begins when you trust Him for your salvation.  Trust is tied to belief - if you don't believe someone, you don't trust them.  Trust is like the second step we take as baby Christians.  First we believe that the Bible is true and the it is the Word of God, and then we trust that God will fulfill His promise to save us if we confess our sins and believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that He died to pay for our sins.  That is the first step of faith/trust that we take as a new believer.  But that is not the only step of faith that we need to take.


Once we have taken those first steps of faith and trust, we need to keep on walking by faith and trusting in God's promises!  Many people "pray the prayer" and figure they have their ticket to heaven and they are good to go - back to living life the way they want to and only thinking about or praying to God when they get into a situation they can't fix - like God is some kind of first aid kit, or supernatural fix-all.  But that is just not how it works.  I believe that there will be many who come before God as they enter eternity and find that their "ticket" is not valid!  Heaven is not a carnival and God is not a ticket taker - He is our loving creator and wants to have a vital relationship with us - one based on daily trust and faith.


But what does trust and faith have to do with fear and worry?  EVERYTHING!


I have said on more than one occasion that where there is faith, there is the absence of fear, and where there is fear, there is the absence of faith - it's a sliding scale - as fear grows, faith fails...as faith grows, fear flees!  I have learned this the hard way - there have been time when I was living in fear, debilitating fear, but God was faithful to me and taught me that I needed to believe in His promises and trust Him for everything.  I still battle this at times, but I try to turn fearful thoughts into prayers for increased trust and faith in God's loving sovereignty.


But you shouldn't take my word for it - let's see what God says in His word about worry and fear (fear leads to worry - when we worry, we are fearful - they go hand in hand).   We will also see what the Bible has to say about trusting in God and believing His promises.


Here is a sampling of verses I found that talk about fear - the majority of verses that came up on my search talked about fearing the Lord, or not fearing Him and the blessings or consequences of that, so I found it interesting what this first verse says about who/what you should fear!


*Deut 6:13  You shall fear only the LORD your God; and you shall worship Him and swear by His name.
Deut 31:8 The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
Psalm 34:4 I sought the LORD, and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears.
Psalm 46:1-3 1 God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. 
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; 
3 Though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. 
Wow - I think I'd be tending to being fearful if all that was going on!
Prov 29:25 The fear of man brings a snare, But he who trusts in the LORD will be exalted.
Isaiah 41:13 For I am the LORD your God, who upholds your right hand, 
Who says to you, ‘Do not fear, I will help you.’
Luke 12: 6-7 Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. 7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.


After reading all those verses, it's very clear that God does not want us to be fearful of anything - except that we are to fear Him.  Let me clarify what is meant to "Fear the Lord."  This does not mean that we live in fear of what God will do to us, like He's some cosmic bad guy out to make our lives miserable.  This type of fear  is more like standing in awe of Him - believing that He is omnipotent, sovereign, and omnipresent.  Those are big words that mean that He knows everything that has, is and will happen, that He is in control of everything and that He is present everywhere, all the time.  If you take time to think about all the God is and all the He does, and then think that God loves you personally and that He is intimately involved in your life even to the point of caring about the small details and daily struggles you are dealing with, it creates a sense of overwhelming appreciation, and a sense that God is even better, bigger and grander than our human mind can comprehend.  Kind of like the little boy on the trike in the movie "The Incredibles", where he seems to always be waiting around for "something amazing" to happen, and then we see what God has done or is doing and our reaction is, just like that little boy, "That was TOTALLY awesome."


Now let's take a look at what Jesus said about worry - and I think worry is definitely tied to fear - when we fear something, we begin to worry about it, right?  Just like Faith leads to Trust, Fear leads to Worry!


Matt 6:30-32 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 31 Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ 32 For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.


Luke 12:22-31 And He said to His disciples, “For this reason I say to you, do not worry about your life, as to what you will eat; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. 24 Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds! 25 And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span? 26 If then you cannot do even a very little thing, why do you worry about other matters? 27 Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 28 But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you? You men of little faith! 29 And do not seek what you will eat and what you will drink, and do not keep worrying. 30 For all these things the nations of the world eagerly seek; but your Father knows that you need these things. 31 But seek His kingdom, and these things will be added to you.


Clearly we can see from these two passages that God is aware of our needs and that He will provide for our needs, and that we are not to worry about them at all.  Now please note, this is talking about our NEEDS, not our wants.  God promises to meet our needs of clothing and food.  Most of us are expecting God to meet our wants, things we don't really need, but make our life easier, more pleasant.  God may provide for our wants, but He only promises to meet our needs!  


The Bible teaches us over and over that God is our provider - read some of the stories about the never-ending flour and oil for the widow, shoes that don't wear out as well as manna and birds for the Israelites to eat while they were in the wilderness,  Jesus feeding thousands at a time, and so many other stories of God's amazing providence for His people!  God still provides for His people - it might not be an overabundance, but you will have what you need when you need it.  Worrying accomplishes nothing.  Worrying can cause problems though - stress to our minds and bodies - high blood pressure, ulcers, depression, psychological disorders and more can be the result of worrying over things that we have no control over!  


Another less obvious result of worrying about the future is the lack of thankfulness!  When we are consumed with worry about how we are going to get what we perceive we need, we fail to appreciate what we have already received!  One cure for worry is to take time to count your blessings when you find yourself worrying about anything in your  life. Especially take time to remember times when God has met your needs in the past and thanking Him for His providence.  If you are constantly looking for things to be thankful for, you will have not time or opportunity to worry about what you are missing!  It can also be helpful to take time to look up and memorize passages of scripture, like those above, that tell of God's promises, storing them up in  your heart and mind!


So we can see from scripture that we are not to be fearful or worry about anything.  But can we do this on our own?  Of course not!  What do we need in order to avoid being fearful or worrying?  We need to believe God, ask Him to supply our needs and trust Him to do it.  


Let's take a little time to see what the Bible says about trusting in God:


Psalm 9:10 And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, For You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.
Psalm 32:10 Many are the sorrows of the wicked, But he who trusts in the LORD, lovingkindness shall surround him.
Psalm 37:5 Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it.
Psalm 56:3 - 4 When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. 4 In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid. What can mere man do to me?
Psalm 62:8 Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. 
Psalm 91:1 - 3 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. 
2 I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust!” 
3 For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper and from the deadly pestilence.
Psalm 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.
(That is my personal favorite!)
Proverbs 29:25 The fear of man brings a snare, But he who trusts in the LORD will be exalted.
Isaiah 26:3 The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You.
Jeremiah 17:7 Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD And whose trust is the LORD.
Daniel 3:28 Nebuchadnezzar responded and said, “Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego, who has sent His angel and delivered His servants who put their trust in Him, violating the king’s command, and yielded up their bodies so as not to serve or worship any god except their own God.
Daniel 6:23 Then the king was very pleased and gave orders for Daniel to be taken up out of the den. So Daniel was taken up out of the den and no injury whatever was found on him, because he had trusted in his God.
Phil 1:12 - 14 Now I want you to know, brethren, that my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel, 13 so that my imprisonment in the cause of Christ has become well known throughout the whole praetorian guard and to everyone else, 14 and that most of the brethren, trusting in the Lord because of my imprisonment, have far more courage to speak the word of God without fear.


Did you notice that many times men trusted in God even when imprisoned and facing probable death!


That is a lot said about trusting in God - and there were many others I didn't include!  I believe that when God talks a lot about something in the Bible, it is very important to Him!  Trusting in God is not something that comes naturally - it is learned!  It is based on a foundation of faith in God - believing that He is who He says He is, and that the Bible is His word, and that He will do what He says He will do.  Once you have you faith in God, you have the foundation necessary to develop trust.


I refer to developing trust because that's just how it works, unless God miraculously instills trust in your heart!  When we are in a relationship with another person, we will not share our deepest needs, biggest fears or personal struggles with that person - we will need to get to know them better.  We build up trust in someone through the events in life - are they trustworthy?  Do they keep your confidence or do they blab what you have told them to everyone?  When you ask them to do something, do they follow through or forget that they promised to help you?  When they say they are going to give you something, do they follow through?  The same is true of our relationship with God, except that we can see His track record through scripture!


The first thing to begin to build trust in God is to read His word, paying attention to how He cared for His people and provided for them!  Watching how He always fulfilled His promises and always did what He said He would do!  


The next way to build trust is God is to watch for His hand in the events in your life - even the little ones, even in things that you didn't ask Him for!  God knows our needs and loves to provide for them even when we don't realize we need them until they are provided.  For example, recently I had some shopping to do, but being over 6 months pregnant and 48 years old, I was getting tired and knew that I was limited in what I could accomplish that day.  I didn't stop and think about this, but noticed that day that I always got parking places very close to the doors of the stores I had to go in, and that the lines I got in for checking out were far shorter than any others in the store!  God knew what I needed that day, and provided for me even though I didn't even think to ask for it!  If we are looking for how God provides for our needs throughout the day, we will begin to grow in our trust, and then when the big things happen in life that can shake us to our core, we can trust God even then!


We also build our trust in God by actively placing out trust in Him.  Trusting in God and not being fearful or worrying is a choice.  Our natural, sinful nature will always have a knee-jerk reaction to trials of becoming fearful and worrying about anything and everything.  But we need to develop a habit of making the choice to place our trust in God and keeping it there.  Sometimes, when things are especially difficult, I have found myself stating for myself what I believe - "God is Good, in everything and in every way!"**  "God loves me and cares for me and is doing this for my good and His glory."  "I WILL TRUST HIM"  In times like that I  try to remember what Job said after everything was taken from him, and nearly all his family was killed - "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him" (KJV).  Our hearts will follow our minds.  Even when you don't feel like God is doing this for your good, you must place your trust in Him and state what you know to be true!


I  also want to share with you the blessing of placing your trust in God, in any situations - peace.  God grants us peace when we place our trust in Him.  This peace can be an inner peace even in the midst of terrible suffering and turmoil.  Here are some of God's promises about His peace that He gives to His children:


John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.


John 16:33 These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”


And here's my favorite verse to remind me of what to do when I feel worry and fear creeping into my heart and mind, I try to quote these verses and place in His hands the concerns facing me:


Philippians 4:6 - 7  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.


Now that's a promise you can hold onto - I have experienced this peace.  When our Esther was just 3 months old, we had to hand her over to the nurse to take her in to have open heart surgery.  I had prayed and prayed that God would keep Esther safe, but I had also prayed that God's perfect will would be done.  Handing her over was one of the most difficult things I have ever done as a mother.  I cried hard for a little while, and then my husband and I went to the waiting room.  I laid down on a couch and fell asleep!  God's perfect peace had come over me and enabled me to sleep!  I had hardly slept the night before, but I slept soundly for over an hour.  Only God can do something like that!  Soon we were back with Esther and she had started a nearly miraculous recovery from her surgery and has never had any heart issues since that time.  But even if God had willed things to turn  out differently, I know that He would have been there for me and would have been granting me peace as long as I was holding tight to the promises of God.


Have you ever noticed how many New Testament letters start or end with the phrase " Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ." some variation of that?  Nearly all of them!  Sounds like having God's peace is something they valued - and well they should as they were experiencing some serious persecution!  But imprisonment and probably death could not rob those early Christians of the peace that God gave them - and there's nothing in this world that can rob you of God's peace unless you allow it to happen by letting fear and worry get a stronghold in your heart and mind! 


Lastly, I want to share with you something I have learned the hard way.  God gives grace for us in every situation He ordains in our lives, but He doesn't give grace for the "What Ifs".  When we take on tomorrow's worries, we are on our own.  Matthew 6:34 says “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  We rob our today's of joy by taking on tomorrow's worries.  And we go there without the grace God would/will give if/when the "what if" you are worrying about comes about. When you find yourself worrying about the "what ifs", ask the Lord to give you a peace about tomorrow, and then "take every thought captive" (II Cor 10:5).  When your tomorrow's come and they bring those things we are tempted to worry about tomorrow, you will be given the grace to endure, and a peace the passes understanding, but you will not be given those things ahead of time by worrying.


So whenever you find yourself being fearful or worrying about anything, stop and pray and place whatever it is that is bothering you in God's hands and watch to see God move in your life to grant you peace, provide for your needs and fulfill His promises in your life!


All my Love,


Mom


* I have used BibleGateway.com to do my scripture searches, and unless otherwise noted, all scripture is quoted in New American Standard version
**my friend, Debby Gustafson's favorite saying, even as she was dying from cancer

Learning to Love

My Daughters,


We all love fairy tales...a young innocent girl pines away in her castle for her true love, Prince Charming, to rescue her from her dull life.  Prince Charming arrives on his trusty steed and whisks the young girl off her feet, they have their "true love's first kiss" and they ride off into the sunset, right?  In some of the fairy tales, they get married, in some you assume they do.  But it's usually the basic boy meets girl, they fall in love and live happily ever after.  And you have probably thought about your prince charming and played pretend about getting married and living happily ever after, but when you look around at the lives of people you know, those who live happily ever after without a care in the world are few and far between (and possibly extinct, right?).


The love portrayed in fairy tales is just that, a fairy tale.  It doesn't exist, and it shouldn't exist, in our real world.  Occasionally you will hear of couple who "fell in love at first sight", but that is a fallacy...they may form a desire at first sight, but there is no possible way to develop a love that lasts a lifetime based on first impressions.  There might be something that makes you think "he may be the one", but it is definitely not love.  You may even be very impressed by someone's appearance or demeanor to the point of wanting to know that person more, but that is not love either.  Many people confuse desire for love.  Looking at another person and liking what you see, is not love, it is desire.  Just like you might see a candy that looks delicious, and it's appearance makes you desire to taste it...but until you bite into it you have no idea what's inside.


One time I was travelling and stopped by a little coffee shop and purchased some delicious looking chocolates.  They were expensive, but they looked so scrumptious that I just could not resist...they were worth the price, at least I believed they were worth the effort to find out.  I was in a hurry, so I took them with me to the car to eat while I was on the ferry.  Once I was settled and parked on the ferry, I opened the package and took out one of the chocolates...man it looked good!  I took a little nibble and it was as delicious as it looked - smooth creamy chocolate that melts in you mouth as smooth as silk...so I took a bite that went all the way to the middle...YUCK!  The middle tasted like mold!  How disgusting!  I have never tasted anything so vile when expecting something so delicious!


People can be like that chocolate.  You can only see what's on the outside.  Even when you spend lots of time with other people!  Unless you live with that person you probably won't see the real deal.  Most people put their best face forward, especially when they are not at home.  You might think you know someone, but until you spend a lot of time with them, and especially spend time with them in their home and with their family, you probably know only what they want you to know about them!  They may look like wonderful chocolate, but you have no idea if they are harboring something disgusting inside.


So how in the world can you ever find a true Prince Charming?  You don't.  Wait on the Lord, seek His face and find your all in Him.  Look to Him to fill all your needs and learn to love others the way Christ loves us.  In God's perfect timing, He will bring "The One" He has chosen for you into your life. But that is for another letter - there's so much more to say about that.


This letter is about love.  The kind of love that takes work.  The kind of love that lasts a lifetime.  The kinds of love that will continue even after you have found something unlovable in the object of your love.  The love I want to share with you today is not a feeling (but it can result in strong feelings), but a choice.  It's a commitment to love another person regardless of what they can do for you.  This is called Agape love, and it  is a love that is unconditional.  This is the kind of love that Jesus has for us.  He loved us while we were yet sinners and died for us even before we loved Him.


This kind of love is what it takes to make a marriage work.  A total, 100% commitment to loving your spouse no matter what they have done to earn your love, or what they have done to earn your wrath.  But how can you have this love?  How can you learn to love in this way?


God is the only one who can enable you to love in this manner.  He has placed you in your family for a purpose - to learn to love unconditionally.  Family is forever...friends may come and friends may go, but your mother and father will always be your mother and father, and your sisters and brothers will always be your sisters and brothers.  Living with your family, day in and day out, will give you ample opportunities to choose to love others even when they are unlovable.  I know this is true in our family!


What does this kind of love look like in a family?  This is the kind of  love that will do things for others.  This kind of love will mean going beyond what is required of you.  If you see that your sister or brother has left his shoes out on the lawn and it is beginning to rain, you will go out there and grab the shoes and put them away for your sibling...and not even tell them about it.  This kind of love will cause you to think "I should make some popcorn today because my sister loves popcorn and that would make her happy".  Agape love puts the other person first, regardless of their worthiness to receive this love.  Remember, God loved us while we were most unlovable - before we accepted His gift of salvation, while we were still living a life of selfishness and breaking His laws and hating Him.  Agape love is choosing to love someone and committing yourself to loving that person no matter what.


But, you may ask, what does Agape love have to do with marriage - aren't married couples already "in love"?  Isn't the love already mutual?  It might be, but in any marriage there will come a time when your spouse will not meet your expectations, or he might even do something really terrible.  We are all sinners, saved by God's grace.  We don't stop sinning the moment we become a child of God.  But we have forgiveness through Christ's blood.  But sometimes our sins, and the sins of others, can hurt those we love.  Sometimes we don't even realize that we have hurt those we love.  And many times, the sins of those we love hurt us.  But that does not give us a right to withhold our love for them.  If you have made a commitment to love your family with an Agape love, then you will continue to love them even when they seem unlovable.


Use this time in your life to practice unconditional love to the members of our family.  Treat them as you would your best friend - pray for them, forgive without being asked, think of things that you can do that will make them enjoy the day, do things for them that will make their burdens light,  and plan your activities to include them.  Even when you don't feel like it.  Remember, just because you feel something, it doesn't mean it's true! When you don't feel like showing Agape love, remind yourself of all that God, through Christ, has done for you and remind yourself that you have committed to loving that person unconditionally and chose to do something special for that person today.


I know this works. I have experienced this in my life.  A very wise counselor told me that in order to release the resentment I had built up towards someone in my life, I had to chose to love that person.  I had to pray for that person.  I didn't live with this person, so for the most part, I could only pray.  But every time I thought of that person or began to recount in my mind all that that person had done to hurt me, I stopped myself and said a prayer that God would bless them and give them a wonderful day and that that person would feel the love of God.  It took a long time, but after a few months I began to realize that I was no longer resentful towards that person.  I was actually feeling positive towards that person and began to see them in a new light.  Since that time I can say that I have no more resentment (even when that person does something that offends me) and that I have a genuine love for that person.


Your emotions can and will follow your mind.  Choose to love those in your family and learn to pour out love on them and this will prepare you for loving your husband.  Loving your husband is not something that will come easily at all times...yes, there will be times when your husband does things that create a strong feeling of love, but there will be many other times when your husband will not create these feelings and that is when your commitment to love him "in sickness and in health, in rich or in poor" will take all that is in you and then some...but God is able and with His help you will be able to say with Paul "I can do all things, through Christ who gives me strength."  Love God, ask for His wisdom and strength, and love your family (and in the future, your husband) at all times and all circumstances.


All My Love,


Mom

Honoring Your Father, Loving Your Husband

My Daughters,


In Titus 2 Paul instructs the "older women" to "encourage the young women to love their husbands..." In some translation it reads "teach".  But, you may ask, if a woman falls in love with a man and they marry, why would they need to be taught how to love their husband if she is already in love with him?  That is a very good question!  The answer is that "falling in love" is not what the Bible talks about when it comes to marriage.  If you can fall IN love, then you can (and will) fall OUT OF love!  The love spoken of in the Bible is a love that is a commitment to  the object of the love.  It is very similar to the friendship kind of love - putting the object of your love before yourself, desiring to bless them and please them.  But before I get into that subject (in a later letter), I'd like to talk to the young women who are not married yet.  At this time, none of my daughters in my home are married, but that doesn't mean that this command to teach them to love their husbands can be ignored by me or them!


When you are a daughter at home, you can practice loving your husband!  Until you are married, you are under the protection, provision and instruction of your father.  God calls you to honor your father, and no where in scriptures does it say you outgrow this command!  Honoring your father can be excellent preparation for being a help-meet to your husband someday...at least the kind of loving support that I am talking about.


So, how does "honoring your father" look?  How can that prepare you to love your husbands?  It can in many ways.  The kind of love and honor I am talking about is that of a commitment to improve their life, to support them in their work and ministry, and to make them know they are loved.


The most important thing you can do to honor and love your father is to pray for him!  He has a lot of responsibility on his shoulders and faces our evil world everyday to supply our needs!  Pray for his protection, wisdom, strength against temptation, spiritual growth, good health.  Praying for someone will always increase your love for that person.  You can also ask him if there's anything you can specifically pray for - knowing that you are praying for your father will mean so much to him!  And, of course, praying for your father will establish a habit that will convert over nicely to praying for your husband when you are married.  Speaking of praying for your husband...have you ever prayed for your future husband?  God knows him intimately and even now you can be praying that God would bless him and teach him, to protect him from evil, and mold him to be the godly husband you hope to have!


The kind of honor and love I am talking about also takes getting to know your father - what he likes, what displeases him, what his purpose in life is, what his ministry is...and maybe he doesn't even know these things himself, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have them!  You need to study your father, get to know him, spend time with him listening to him, asking questions to draw him out.  What does he like, what are his favorite foods, what is his favorite thing to do, what does he like to read, what are his hopes and dreams?  Find out more about your dad than anybody, besides your mom, knows about him!  Then take what you have learned and try to please him.  Make meals/snacks that he likes.  Use the Golden Rule - "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" - do things for your father that you know would please you!   Offer to help him out with his projects (it's OK to get dirty/greasy).  Ask him to teach you the things he knows, especially things that will help you care for your family someday - like how to fix plumbing, a lawn mower, change the oil in a car and more!  If your father has a hobby, try it out.  Even if it's a "guy thing" - some male hobbies are quite fun!  Working side by side with your father will be so special.  Men are not prone to sharing their heart with others...but when you spend time with your father doing something he enjoys, it will give opportunity for special talks as well!


Thinking about your father during the day, and planning to do things for him once he gets home from work, will create a deeper love for your father.  Many young girls look at their father from a viewpoint of what their fathers do for them - protection, provision, fix their things, and the maker of the rules in her life.  But they can be so much more!  When you invest yourself in someone else, you will deepen your relationship with that person in ways that will last a lifetime.  I wish I had done this, but it's too late as my father passed away a few years ago.  So let me encourage you to do this for your father, no matter how old you are, or if your relationship with your father has taken a few hits through the years.  Commit to loving your father in tangible ways, day in and day out, giving him the respect and honor that God commands and going that much farther and becoming his loving daughter.


But what about submitting to and obeying your father?  Let's assume that in general you obey your father and do as he asks...but is that all you should do?  When you obey your father, you are practicing how to honor your husband.  When you act in accordance with your father's wishes even when he is not present, you are practicing to love your husband and you are pleasing God, your heavenly father!  When you are married, your husband will have ideas about how a home should be run, what activities he likes to have his wife involved in and how his wife interacts with others in her world.  But he will not be with his wife 24 hours a day.  Your father is not with you 24 hours a day, but that does not mean that if he is not there, that you can act anyway you please...you still need to live according to his preferences and rules at all times.  By committing to living your life according to your father's (and your heavenly Father's) will, you are learning to curb your sinful nature and gain self control.  This is not easy!  This is impossible in our own strength as our nature as women is to put ourselves and our desires first and take any opportunity to fulfill those desires when no one is looking!  But, much like your Father in heaven, he will find out.  What you do when you are not in his presence, will usually get back to him somehow...and even if it doesn't, disobedience always damages relationships.  When you have gone against your father wishes, the next time you are with your father your will hold back that part of your life from him and your will be dishonest with him.


What about when you are making decisions?  Are you wise in your own eyes, or do you realize that your father is a source of wisdom?  Granted, not all fathers are filled with Godly wisdom, but if your father is a believer then this is most likely true, and if he is not a believer, he has lived longer than you and understands the world around you much better!  Talk to your dad when you are needing to make decisions and listen to him.  You might not like what he suggests, but dad's have been around and they know things you do not know.  Unless what your father tells you is contrary to God's word, you should put great importance to what he says.  If you are unsure about anything - activities to participate in, what subjects to study, where to volunteer your time, how to help your mother, how to spend your money, what clothes are acceptable to wear...ask your father and listen to him.  So many times women and girls will ask the man in their life for his opinion, but when that opinion does not line up with the girl's/women's opinion, the women/girls will react in defensiveness and reject that opinion.  We, as women, like to have our own way (it started with Eve).  When the men in our lives do not agree with us we are tempted (and usually give in to this temptation) to rationalize our way out of listening to and honoring the men in our lives.  So I encourage you to ask for his opinion/help and take it...don't discuss it, just take it to heart and take some time to think about it, and see why he would recommend/suggest what he did!  You can ask him to elaborate on his opinion and why he feels that way...but sometimes he might not know exactly why or may not think it prudent to explain it in detail to you...so you may just have to take his word for it!  Pray about it and ask God to show you what to do...but don't reject anything your father suggests just because it doesn't line up with your wants and desires.


What about his ministry?  Does that seem strange to you?  Event though your father is not a pastor or a missionary, every Christian father has a ministry whether or not he realizes it!  In Deuteronomy 6, God's word says to father (and mothers), "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.  And these words which I commend you today shall be in your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children..."  His ministry in your home is to teach your family about God.  Think about what it takes to have family devotions in your home and work to make it as easy as possible for your father to do this.  In our home, in order for us to have a time as a family to study God's word with my husband, we have to plan and execute having dinner on time,  and have the books needed within arms reach, and all the children willing to remain at the table when they are finished eating...we also need to be very careful not to make too many evening commitments, as when we have events in the evening it never fails that we run from the dinner table not even thinking about taking the time to read together!  So think through and plan out what it takes to get your home set up to make having family Bible time possible and commit to executing that plan every day!  Make a list...dinner ingredients in the house (thawed if need be), dishes clean, table set, dinner started on time...what ever it takes!




When you give your father the honor and respect I just described, it will uplift him and encourage him.  It will cause him to take his role as your father more seriously!  So many men (and women) today have succumbed to our world's flawed portrayal of a father and husband..they are the bread winner and their job in life is to keep the women in their lives happy, 'cuz "if momma ain't happy, aint nobody happy".  But that is so wrong!  We as women are called by God to support, encourage, help and love the men in our lives and make them happy!

What if your father is not a believer, does that change my advice to you?  Not really.  Not unless he commands you to do something contrary to God's word.  Loving and honoring your father as I have shown you today can be a powerful tool that God can use in your father's life to draw him to the things of God...this kind of daughter is not heard of in the world (and even in most Christian circles) today.  He will take notice.  And in this case, praying for your father is even more vitally important!


So, prepare to be a godly help-meet to your husband by being a godly, helpful daughter to your father...you'll never regret it.


All My Love,


Mom

Dealing with Daily Frustrations and Trials

My Daughters,


If you are anything like me, you deal with little irritations almost constantly, frustrations seem to interrupt even the best of days, and some days everything is irritating and frustrating.  And then there are trials...these are not trivial, are not easily "fixed" and may last for days/months/years.  How can we deal with these in a godly manner?  How can we go on when everything seems to be going against us?  How can we go on when our dreams seem to be slipping away and nothing we do seems to brings us any close to fulfilling our lifelong dreams and ambitions?


This is a really tough subject, and one that I fail at so often.  But I have gone through many trials, some great, some small, and on almost a daily basis I am faced with irritations and frustrations and I am not so good at handling these properly...so I am sharing with you what I know to be true, but am still trying to apply it in my life and working to develop good habits in this area.


Before I get into ways to deal with frustrations and trials, we need to talk about who God is, and how He works in our lives.  I believe God is sovereign...but what does sovereign mean?  I found this definition on Theopedia.com -  "all things are under God's rule and control, and that nothing happens without His direction or permission. God works not just some things but all things according to the counsel of His own will (see Eph. 1:11). His purposes are all-inclusive and never thwarted (see Isa. 46:11); nothing takes Him by surprise. The sovereignty of God is not merely that God has the power and right to govern all things, but that He does so, always and without exception. In other words, God is not merely sovereign de jure (in principle), but sovereignde facto (in practice)."  Here are some great Bible passages that talk about the sovereignty of God that you should read - Lamentations 3:32-33, Romans 11:23, Matthew 10:29-31, 2 Timothy 1:12, Proverbs 19:21, James 4: 14 - 15.


Our loving heavenly Father is active in our lives, carefully choosing what will and will not happen.  He uses all things to grow us, draw us to Him and deepen our relationship with Him...and how we react to trials and frustrations will directly correlate to how well we grow and whether or not our difficulties strengthen our walk with the Lord, or if we put a wall of sin up that hinders us from growing in grace.


Our natural, human response to problems is to ask the questions "Why Me?"  Our knee jerk reaction is that "life isn't fair, I don't deserve this" and we recoil in pain and we act like a victim.  But is that a godly response?  Job was going about his business one day when suddenly two servants ran to him and said that all his livestock had been stolen and their caretaker had been slain, and then another servant told him that all his flocks and servants had been killed by fire from heaven, and lastly another servant came and told him that all his 10 children and their families had been crushed to death in the oldest son's home that collapsed from a great wind.  Wow, can you imagine that?  Did Job cry out "Why me?  This isn't fair! I don;t deserve this?"  No, these are the words that he spoke in this moment of greatest suffering: "Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked shall I return there. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD.”  Now that is a godly response to trials.  And the Bible also tells us that "In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong".  


I have a secret weapon for you to use when things seem to go wrong - when you heart cries out "why me?"  make that questions "Why is God bringing this into my life, what is His purpose and what is He trying to teach me?"  Go to Him and ask Him to lead and guide your thoughts, actions and words that you may grow and learn and be molded into the likeness of His son, Jesus Christ, right from the start of the trial that has come into your life.  Look for His hand in everything, go straight to Him - my tendency when a trial hits is to call my mom, my friends...and I seek God last...but I have that all backwards!  I must run to God first.


Let me tell you about how a potter makes a clay pot.  The potter molds the clay into the shape that he desires, but it is soft and pliable and not suitable for any purpose yet, it needs to be cured in a hot fire.  So he takes the pot and places it in the oven to cure.  When he thinks that it might be cured, he takes it our of the fire and flicks the edge of the pot to test if it is finished - if it makes ringing sound it is cured, and can be cooled and used.  If it is not cured, the sound will be more of a "thump".  That means it has not finished curing and needs to go back into that same fire again in order to finish the curing process.  We are like that clay pot and God is the potter.  When we find ourselves facing the same type of trial over and over again ("why do I keep having to deal with financial difficulties, when will I ever have more than just enough money?"), that is a big clue that God is working in your life to teach you something and you are not learning that lesson!


When we face a trial on our own strength and knowledge, we never learn anything from it and usually fall flat...we might muddle our way through, but we are miserable and disheartened.  We may even end up being angry at God or walk away from Him entirely, holding bitterness and resentment in our hearts.  But when we run to God when the trial comes and plead with Him for wisdom and strength, He will carry you through  - teaching, loving and molding you in the process.  And remind yourself what you know to be true about God's love for you and His sovereignty in your life.  In Jeremiah 29:11 He says "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  He loves you more than you will ever know.  And He has something very special for you, something you can only experience when you have turned to Him in the midst of a trial, and laid aside your worry in favor of trusting God and spending time in prayer with Him - Paul tells you "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6 - 7).


Did you catch that?  "With Thanksgiving"?  Thankful for trials?  You've got to be kidding, right?  No, he's not kidding.  James, the brother of Jesus also talks about being joyful in trials - "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."  So thanking God for a trial, and being joyful that you are experiencing a trial is the godly response....but that seems impossible, doesn't it.  Well, it's all in your perspective.  When you have gone through a trial and you have seen God work in and through it, drawing you closer to Him and showing you His love in the midst of the pain, you have that experience to draw upon in the future.  When you are facing a difficult trial, take time to remember how God has worked in your life (or in others) through trials, and remind yourself that God is at work in your life.  He is intimately working in you to create something beautiful.  Thank Him for loving you enough to not let you remain as you are, be joyful knowing you are not going through this alone and that God is  and is going to do something big in your life through this.


Lastly, in Romans 8:28, Paul tells us that " in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."  Did you catch that?  There's a condition in that promise.  This promise is for those who LOVE HIM.  Do you love Him?  Remember what I shared in my last letter about loving God?  Loving God is a daily decision to love Him, in the good times and bad times.  God isn't just a first aid station or a band aide.  You can't just live your life however you want, and then expect God to pick up he pieces when things fall apart. God wants you to love Him everyday and in all situations, so that when He does bring a trial into your life, you are coming into it with a full pool - full of the love of God in your heart and  a strong relationship to Him.  So be prepared, day in and day out, by steadfastly seeking the Lord and growing in your knowledge of Him and His truth, then the daily battles and the difficult trials will be tackled with God by your side as your best friend and confidant.


What about the day to day?  When it's little things and you find yourself getting all worked up by some frustration, is that any different?  Not really.  I believe God works in our lives in everything.  If you pray for patience, be prepared for trials, tribulations and irritations galore!  The only way we learn patience is by dealing with those things!   So when you feel yourself getting angry and frustrated, turn to God.  Say a quick prayer for wisdom and strength.  Take a minute to see what is really going on.  Take a deep breath, and  try to calm yourself.  God tells us that one of the fruits of the spirit is self control.  We don't have that naturally, but He gives that to us.  We need to seek Him in times of frustration.


What about hormone induced mood swings?  I know all about those!  These can be a regular part of your life, but they can be especially strong during phases of a woman's life - especially at the beginning and ending of our child bearing years, during pregnancy and after having baby.  First let me say that hormone induced emotions are not an excuse to sin.  Run to God during these times, and if necessary go to a quiet room until the mood swing passes.  Be sure you are taking good care of yourself - eating good foods, taking healthy supplements (vitamin B complex is vital), getting your rest, and look into taking herbal remedies ("Remifemin", a low does black cohosh remedy has helped me tremendously) to help balance your hormones.  And please get help if you find yourself spiraling down into deep depression no matter what you do, as sometimes our bodies can get so out of balance that we need medical help to remedy the situation, but this should not be your first defense - God is your first defense.


When you are living your life with God first, then you will be able to say with King David "I lift up my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip – he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you – the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm – he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." (Psalm 121:1-8)

All my Love,


Mom

Striving to Become a Woman After God's Own Heart

My Daughters,


The Westminster's Shorter Catechism begins with this question and answer:  What is the chief end of man?  To glorify God and enjoy Him forever.  As believers, our number one priority in this life is our relationship to God.  Our lives should bring glory to Him.


Imagine a bride-to-be...planning her wedding and preparing to be her fiance's bride.  The first thing she thinks about upon waking is her betrothed.  As she gets dressed she wonders if the outfit she is selecting will please him when she sees him later in the day.  As she eats, she wonders what he's eating for breakfast.  As she styles her hair she remembers that he said that he likes it when she wears her hair up, so she styles it that way.  As she puts on her makeup she remembers that he really liked it when she used the lavender eye liner.  So, of course, she uses the lavender eye liners.  And then there's the earrings he gave her, she has to wear them again today since she's going to be seeing him...and she can't wait!  Oh how she wishes she could spend time with him first thing in the morning instead of having to wait all the way until his lunch break at work!


Did you know that Paul tells us in the Bible that the relationship of believers to Christ is like that of a bride to a bridegroom?  We, the body of believers, are waiting for Christ to return and take us to His home.  He is our bridegroom.  Are you preparing for Him each day?  Are you growing more in your love for Him each day?  Do you think about what pleases Christ when you make decisions about how you use your time, how you dress, how you eat, what you talk about?  We, as believers saved by His paying the price for us through His death, should live that way!


But how can we do this?  What does it look like in the average day?

this artwork is by an artist who hides the word "Jesus" somewhere in the painting
- check out her other works, they are amazing!

 In the book "A Woman after God's Own Heart" Elizabeth George talks about the Seven Sacred Pools in Hawaii.  There are several pools with waterfalls in between each pool, the water dropping into one pool and then leaves that pool and fills the next pool lower down.  Our lives are like that waterfall.  Our first pool needs to be filled before we can fill the next one, and so forth.  Our first pool is our relationship with God!  We need to be filled with love for Him and from Him first and foremost!  In order to fill that pool, we have to put God first in our life and that takes work.  It takes dedication and determination.


I have tried to have a time with God every day since I became serious about seeking God's will for my life way back in high school.  I have not always succeeded, and there have been long spells when I hardly ever had a regular time to meet with my Lord, read His word and talk with Him.  Until I read Elizabeth George's book I had not really committed myself to doing it daily.  I did it when it worked out, and at times I'd be consistent for a few weeks or months, but then the pressures of life would squeeze out that time - "I don't have time today to meet with God, He must understand because He knows how long my "to do" list and how little sleep I've been getting".   But this time is critical!


When I was in school I would try to do it before going to sleep at night - so many times I'd awake during the night and find my Bible lying on the bed next to me and I would have no recollection of what I read, and obviously I did not remain awake long enough to talk with God after He talked to me (through His word).  So I have always tried to do it in the morning.  But in order to do this you have to wake yourself up early enough to take the time, especially if you have to be somewhere at a certain time that day, or to be awake before your children wake up and the demands of the day rush up to you.  Elizabeth George says to "beat the kids up" - no, do not beat your children, but beat them to waking!  Get up before they do!  Yes, there are nights where a young mother might get very little sleep, and for her health she needs to sleep as late as the children do, but she still needs to find time to start her day with God.  Maybe set the children up with their breakfast and sit at the table and read to the children!  Or have your Bible lying where you sit to nurse your baby and the first time you nurse your Baby, read the Bible and pray.  Make it work for you.


A relationship takes time, it takes work, it takes commitment.  If you have a friend and you never talk with them, or listen to them, how good if your friendship?


 Reading the Bible is listening to God - hearing what He says about how to live your life.  You can read a portion of scripture, or use a "Read Through The Bible in a Year" Bible to guide your reading, or use a Bible study book to help you apply the Bible to your life.   Memorizing scripture is a great way to internalize God's truths and it will help you apply it in your life.  When you find a passage that really speaks to you or helps you to know what God's will for you is, memorize that passage.  I've just started memorizing scripture for the first in years and it's not as hard as I thought it would be, and the passage I memorized years ago are still lurking around in my mind and come into my thoughts when I need them!


Praying is talking with God.  Usually you do all the talking, but many times while I am praying I will think of something important I need to do, or maybe further understanding about what I was reading, or maybe I'll be asking for help with a problem and suddenly I'll think of the solution to that problem.  That is God talking to me!  I just had this yesterday.  In the morning I was thinking about my desire to start a new blog, but couldn't decide what to use as the subject matter - I have so many things I like to do or like to talk about.  So as I was working on my laundry, I started to pray and ask God to show me what He wanted me to write about, and within seconds I remembered the talk I gave last spring at a mother-daughter tea about mother's and daughters walking side by side.  And then I knew I needed to start a blog to share my heart with my daughters, teaching them to be women of faith.  So this very blog is the result of hearing God's answer to my prayer while I was still praying about it!


Learning from someone else is also a great way to grow in your faith.  For many women, spending time with a wise, godly woman isn't something we can do on a regular basis, but many wise, godly women have written books that can teach us many things!  That's how I have learned the bulk of how to apply God's word in my life!  Elizabeth George, Elizabeth Elliot, Michelle Duggar, Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Stormie Omartian are a few authors who have impacted my life in the past few years.  Be careful in choosing the authors you study under, as not all Christian authors are doctrinally sound, many are worldly and fall into the category of teachers who lead others astray from the pure gospel.  2 Timothy 4:3 speaks of this: "For the time will come when people will not up up with sound doctrine, Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.  They will turn their ears way from the truth and turn aside to myths."


Lastly, it can be very helpful to have an accountability partner.  An accountability partner is someone who commits to meeting with you (in person or by phone) on a regular basis, which can be once a week, once a month or whatever works for both of you, to encourage one another and pray for each other and hold each other accountable.  I have been doing this for over 2 years now and it has been so helpful for me.  I tell her what I want to be held accountable for, and she shares her desires for spiritual growth with me.  We pray for each other as often as possible regarding each other's struggles.  Knowing that she is praying for me, and that sometime soon I will be sharing with her how successful I have been in having a regular time with my Lord helps me to stay on track!  Ask the Lord to show you who would be a good accountability partner for you and ask that person if she would be willing to do this with you!  You won't regret it!


Once you are filling your heart and mind regularly with the things of God, and taking time to talk with Him, your spiritual pool will fill up to overflowing.  That overflow will spill out into your relationships in your family.  But that is for my next letter.


I pray that what I have shared with you will enable you to become dedicated to spending time regularly with Him who died for you, and in so doing that you will be filled with the love of God and that it will bring glory to Him and bless all who know you.


With all my Love,


Mom